Page 4 of Wicked Minds
In a bid to ignore that feeling, I grab the remote and flick on the TV. A Christmas movie is playing and I wriggle deeper into the couch cushions to watch, except it’s not the same.
Logan isn’t shouting at the TV, and Royce isn’t grumbling about how cliche every scene is. I don’t feel their warmth on either side of me—the relaxing comfort of their presence.
Frustrated, I blow out a breath as I turn the television off. Frowning as I do another scan of my apartment, trying to understand what exactly this feeling is. This disconnect.
My books still sit on the shelf, the latest one I was reading tossed haphazardly on the table. The furniture is the same, and even when I breathe in, the scents are familiar. Yet I feel as though I’m looking through the space with the eyes of a stranger.
Untethered.
That’s how I feel—Untethered.
So much has changed in the past few weeks. Actually, since I started at Halston.
I’vechanged.
They’vechanged me.
This apartment is no longer my safe hideaway from the world. It’s no longer the source of comfort I relied on.
A laugh erupts from my throat, growing more hysterical, more desperate, by the second. It’s a wild sound that is foreignto my ears, bouncing off the walls as I clutch my head, tears welling in my eyes. A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, and I struggle to fill my lungs. The laughter bubbles into frantic sobs as I realize what—or ratherwho—has become that source of comfort.
“I’m so fucked up,” I croak to myself, wiping at my tears. To miss them—tocravethem—after everything they’ve done.
After Logan’s heartbreak.
Royce’s indifference.
Grayson’s… well, Grayson can go die in a ditch. I’m still so fucking angry with him.
At a loss for what else to do, I grab my phone and pull up my chat with her, hoping to distract myself from the utter shitshow that is my life.
Me
Hope you’re having a good Christmas. If you’re free tomorrow, want to have a girl’s night in? I need to vent.
Within seconds, my phone vibrates with her response.
Tara
Vent? Please tell me you finally fucked the hockey hottie.
Or was it Ruthless?
OMG, please tell me it was both!
Me
I did not fuck both of them!!
Tara
But you did take one of their dicks for a ride…
Oh my god!
Me
No! Nobody got ridden!
