Page 62 of Things We Do for Love and Science
Chapter Eighteen
Last night they’d undressed, dropped into bed, and fallen asleep within minutes. This morning, the warm and solid presence of the softly breathing man beside her made Delia think of how much she enjoyed sex just after waking up. An experience she had, so far, exclusively shared with Gabriel, since he was the only man who’d ever been with her all through the night.
He stirred and reached for her, and she flattened her body against his.
“Mm, good morning,” he mumbled.
“Morning.” She stroked across the plane of his stomach and, encouraged by his sighs, continued to explore until he lifted himself up and leaned in to kiss her.
She slung her arms around his neck and tilted her hips to be even closer, to feel even more of him pressed against her. Their bodies were used to each other, and caresses were natural, instinctive, and pleasurable.
She nuzzled his neck, enjoying the comfortable intimacy that had grown between them. He ran his hand along the side of her body, and her skin electrified.
“Yes,” she whispered, and he took hold of her hips and settled himself above her.
“Delia, look at me.” He held her gaze as he moved, and their breaths took on the same rhythm.
There was an opening, a widening, and for a moment, she surrendered to a deeper connection. She was afloat, secure, and content until she made out the meaning of his words.
“I love you, Delia.”
She broke the intense eye contact and forced a laugh. “Don’t mention the ‘L’ word.”
He withdrew and sat up. “Why not? Why can’t I mentionthe ‘L’ word?”
She rested her weight on her elbows and snapped, “Gabriel, we agreed from the start, we’d leave emotions out of it.”
Her pulse hammered, and adrenaline washed through her bloodstream. Was he about to explode their precious friendship with his notions of romantic love?
Angling his head, Gabriel focused on her. “This is a farce. We’re a couple in all but name, and it’s time to own it.” He drew an unsteady breath. “You once told me I was a greedy man, and it’s true, I am. Delia, I want all of you. I don’t want to be loved merely as a good friend you have sex with to get pregnant. I want it all: children, marriage, the promise of a love that lasts a lifetime.”
“But these are fairy tales,” she said, “and not the kind that end well.”
“God, Delia, I love you.” He paused. “And I believe you could love me too if you let go of your rigid defenses. Love is nothing to be afraid of.”
All feeling left her limbs, and her vision narrowed. She snatched the duvet to cover herself. “So, you’re telling me how to live now, are you? Just because I don’t want the traditional set-up doesn’t mean I’m ill-adjusted or governed by fear.”
“That’s not what I said. What we have is special. This is more than friendship.” Tears glittered in his eyes. “You don’t care about the external trappings. You only care about me. Don’t tell me it’s all in my imagination.”
Her voice softened when she spoke. If she could only make him understand. “That’s the oxytocin; it’s natural to feel a bit emotional when you have sex with somebody regularly. It’ll pass once we stop being intimate when I’m pregnant.”
“Stop hiding behind science, Delia. It’s not just hormones and biochemistry.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” She jumped out of bed and picked her clothes off the floor. Her tears spilled, and she was shivering. “I wanted to keep you in my lifeforever, and now you’ve gone and ruined it with your sentimentality.” Red hot anger stoked a furnace in her stomach. They hadagreed,and now he was trying to upend their arrangement. He had never listened, had never taken her seriously.
She glanced at him in the ensuing silence. His face had become a rigid mask. No sign of any warm feelings. But no matter what she said, he’d always want her to be someone she was not. There was no other way. She had to let him go.
He dressed hurriedly and left her flat without another word. Tears were already choking her before the door closed behind him. Gabriel was gone, and all her dreams were in tatters.
~ * ~
Once inside his batteredLand Rover, Gabriel rested his forehead against the steering wheel. A sharp pain pierced his solar plexus, and sobs shook him. The heady, intense, and emotional time with Delia had come to an end, and he was powerless to change it.
A relationship was out of the question; she wouldn’t allow it. And it tore him apart because there was no one, no other love in their way, and she did love him. He was sure of it. His soul was on familiar terms with hers—they had touched, had understood one another.
