Page 77 of Things We Do for Love and Science
“And he doesn’t reciprocate?” Sandra released Delia but held on to her elbow.
“It’s...ah...worse, actually.” Delia lifted her gaze to the majestic Christmas tree, all decked out in fairy lights, that towered over the center of the market.
Sandra tightened her hold. “How?”
“He said he loved me, but I rebuffed him, convinced I wasn’t a relationship person. Then I found out I was pregnant, and I was over the moon. So, I went to tell him even though we’d fallen out, somehow thinking this would change everything, but then...” Delia squeezed her eyes shut to stem a new flow of tears. “He got back together with his former fiancée. I realized then that I loved him but lost him all at the same time.”
“Oh nein, wie grauenhaft.I’m so sorry.” Sandra hugged Delia again and held her while she sobbed into her coat. “Will we go back to my flat?”
“No, let’s keep going.” Delia dug a tissue from her coat pocket and dried her eyes. “Sorry for ruining the festive mood.”
“Stop that now.” Sandra’s tone was firm. “You’re my friend, and friends tell each other things—bad things, good things, all sorts of things.”
They linked arms again and resumed their stroll around the market. Sandra bought two candied apples and handed one to Delia. “Here, I dare you not to get the sticky, red sugary stuff all over your face and hands.”
Delia softened. It had been a good decision to come. Talking things through with Sandra made her feel less like an empty husk and more like a human being. For Sandra, no topic was off limits, and that was a relief.
Sandra swallowed a bite of candied apple. “I sometimes think folks like us, STEM academics, we’re putting so much of our time and energy into research and everything that comes with a university career that we kind of lose out on other experiences. We’re less clued-in regarding relationships than other people, you know, those crazy types with free week ends.”
Delia puffed out a cloudy breath into the freezing cold. “I hate them.”
“So do I.” Sandra laughed, then her expression became serious. “How are you coping? Now you’re pregnant and Gabriel’s no longer in the picture?”
“The thing is, he still wants to co-parent and even accompany me to the scans. I’m not sure how to handle it.” Delia pressed her lips together. How was she ever to face him without crumbling to pieces? “My brother thinks I should see a psychotherapist.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Are you going to?” Sandra asked.
Delia wrung her hands. “Yes, I think I will.” Tom had been insistent, and Anjali had given her the name and number of the therapist. All Delia had to do was pick up the phone.
“Good.” Sandra touched Delia’s upper arm. “Glad to hear it. Now, let’s get you aDampfnudel. Your unborn child is going to thank me for the rush of endorphins it’s going to release in your body.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Delia sat in the waitingroom with sweaty palms and a thumping heart. She clamped her hands around the edges of the wooden seat and fought the powerful impulse to bolt. Deep breaths should calm her. Tom was right, she needed to do this.
She closed her eyes, and the unbidden image of Gabriel and Vanessa holding hands appeared vividly before her. Tears seeped from under her lashes. This was the very pain she’d spent her life trying to avoid. It had caught up with her in spite of it all.
