Page 85 of Things We Do for Love and Science
“Oh, that explains it.” Gabriel had to laugh. Sitting in Christian Miller’s consultation room and wondering all the while why Evelyn had recommended him. “But I’ll contact him myself now I know what C. Miller to avoid.”
Evelyn chuckled. “Oh dear, what a mishap. I’m glad you got back to me and didn’t force yourself to stick with a psychologist who is not a good match for you.”
~ * ~
Delia was proud ofherself, justifiably so. In the last three days, she had done one thing for pleasure every single day. She counted the bubble bath on Saturday. It had been a start even if steeping oneself in warm water until it got tepid wasn’t exactly her idea of fun. A bit of trial and error along the way had to be permissible.
Evelyn wasn’t quite as impressed as Delia had expected, and she fought a tiny whisper of disappointment. She was an over-achiever, and not getting Evelyn’s approval registered as failure. But that wasn’t the aim of this whole enterprise. Delia wasn’t there to get the psychologist to like her. She was there to get the help she badly needed. Because the mere thought of facing Gabriel after everything he’d said in his letter, sent her emotions into a tailspin.
She braced herself and began, “Evelyn, I was wondering if we could organize a session with me and Gabriel, the child’s father. You could mediate and help us cope with each other. To help me navigate the situation now that he has a new partner, who he will surely have children with at some stage.”
Evelyn adjusted her glasses and regarded Delia for a while. “Does he know you’re in therapy?”
Delia lowered her head. “No, I... We don’t talk much, at the moment. That’s what makes it difficult, you see.”
“I suppose it could work. If you attended the session together, you would share information voluntarily and patient confidentiality wouldn’t be an issue. You would have to bring it up with him, as I can’t do that. If he agrees, I’d be happy to talk to both of you.”
“Oh.” Delia hesitated.
She had hoped to be able to delegate this particularly unpleasant task to the psychologist. No such luck. She would have to bite the bullet and ring him. Try to get him to agree to meet on neutral ground, with Evelyn there to keep them focused.
“I’ll ask him. Thank you for offering your help, Evelyn, it means a lot to me.”
“Not at all. Let me know the outcome so I can schedule the joint appointment sooner rather than later.”
Delia bit her lip. Oh God, when would she ring him? Maybe not right away. She needed to psych herself up first. Would he even answer the phone if he recognized her number? She couldn’t possibly go to the gatehouse again and see him with his new partner. To have witnessed the affection between him and Vanessa once had been harrowing enough, and Delia was in no mental shape to repeat that experience.
Alone in her flat, the idea that had sounded brilliant in Evelyn’s consultation room lost a great deal of its appeal. Clutching the mobile phone in her sweaty palm, Delia paced through her living room, trying to muster the courage to call the man who, at this moment, was no particular fan of hers.
She needed to be calm on the phone, patient, sober but not too cool either. Also not so warm as to betray that she regretted not having grabbed him when she had the chance. He was somebody else’s now, and she would respect that.
Right so. Long breath in, long breath out. She dialed his number and pressed her phone to her ear, half-panicked, half-excited. Her pulse raced, and her throat was dry.Gabriel, please pick up, no don’t...
“Delia?”
His voice was cool and detached. Her chest contracted with pain.Pain of my own making,she reminded herself because her new regime of self-compassion was currently offline. “I... Am I disturbing you?”
“No.”
“Oh, good, ah, I was wondering if you’d be open to meeting with me and my therapist, Dr. Evelyn Ashford. She’s a lovely lady, and you know, it might be a good idea to meet on neutral ground with a third person who could advise us on co-parenting. What do you think?” She was breathless, having rushed through her proposal to get it off her chest, and now, she was steeling herself for his reply. But he remained silent. “Gabriel, are you still there?”
“Yes I am. It’s a good idea.”
Delia exhaled, relieved. His voice was matter of fact, his answer short and to the point, but at least she would see him, and maybe they could find a way to salvage some sort of friendship now he was with somebody else.
Her broken heart was for her to deal with. She would learn to keep the pain under wraps and be a reliable and sensible co-parent. She’d do it for their child, for him, and most importantly, for herself.
“Excellent. What days of the week would suit?”
“I’ll make time. Email me the details of the appointment so I know when to be there.”
“Yes, of course, and Gabriel?”
“Yes?”
His voice was softer now, and it warmed her. “Thank you.”
~ * ~
