Page 86 of Things We Do for Love and Science
Gabriel had suggestedto Vanessa that they meet in the park of Renwood Hall. It’d seemed like a good idea at the time—to walk and talk without being disturbed. But now as he stood by the gate, Renoir at his heel, panting and ready for a good run, he wondered whether he was being callous. Should he have asked her to come to the gatehouse?
Vanessa was intelligent. Surely, she had an inkling that something was up. They hadn’t progressed past cautious dating even though they’d been trying to reunite for a while. Things were strained, and they’d never managed to recapture the lightness of being natural with one another let alone reignite some long-buried passion. Nothing physical had happened between them since that one ill-advised kiss.
He straightened. This would be uncomfortable, and it would hurt her no doubt. Yet he needed to be honest with her. She was a great woman and deserved someone who loved her unreservedly. He wasn’t that man. Not anymore.
The crunching of gravel announced Vanessa’s green Jaguar. She pulled up close to the gate and got out. Dressed in a powder blue coat and charcoal trousers, her blonde hair flowing to her shoulders, she looked effortlessly elegant. Her smile was tentative, her posture tense.
Renoir chose this moment to abandon Gabriel, cantering off toward the big house, probably in search of Mary or Liam. He wasn’t a dog who enjoyed conflict, and the air had to be thick with the crackling of imminent discord.
“Gabriel.” Vanessa approached him and kissed his cheek, her gloved hands on his shoulders.
“Thanks for coming. It’s a bit cold out, but I thought a walk would be good.” He motioned to the entrance gate of the park, and she followed him. Whatever she expected to be the purpose of this walk, she wasn’t going to make it easy for him. He didn’t deserve easy.
“You’re probably wondering what I asked you to come here for, so formally, so...” He took a deep breath and scanned her face for clues about how she was feeling. Her brow was slightly furrowed, but again she didn’t speak.
“I, ah, I’m very sorry to put it bluntly, but I’m not sure how else... What I mean is...” He glanced at her again. Her eyes were wet with tears. “Jeez. Vanessa, I’m so sorry, I...”
He nearly hugged her but stopped himself in time. That gesture would be counter-productive.
He wrung his hands instead. “I’m not... We can’t revive our relationship. It’s in the past. We’re both different now, and we can’t reawaken old feelings.”
Vanessa stopped in her tracks. “Gabriel, she doesn’t love you.”
“I know, I know. It’s not because of Delia, though. I...”
“ButIdo.”
“Vanessa, I can’t, I...I can’t return that love. I’m sorry.”
She turned and walked to the gate, and he sped up to once more be level with her. Guilt had him in a vice-like grip. He was causing her pain even though he’d never meant to. She dashed some tears from her cheeks.
“Then there’s not much more to say, is there?” In a calmer voice, she added, “I hope, for your sake, this isn’t some sort of payback because I broke off our engagement.”
He said nothing, preferring to deal with her anger than witness her hurt. She held herself with rigid reserve and refused to look at him.
Oh, what a mess he had made. He should never have agreed to Vanessa’s suggestion. His gut had told him not to. His whole body had rejected the very notion. But he hadn’t paid any heed to his instincts because they had led him astray so painfully when he had fallen headlong in love with Delia.
Every touch, every word, every intimate whisper had been so natural, so right. And it had led him right to where he stood now.
Vanessa faced him. “I would prefer if we ceased to have any contact from now on.”
Gabriel pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his coat and dropped his gaze to the ground. “Yes, if that’s what you want.”
She headed for her car, her back straight, her strides long. It was clear that she didn’t want him to follow her.
