Page 37 of Ember and Eclipse
To her disbelief, he answered. “An unbonded Lunae is dangerous, of course. But when we have mates, it isn’t just about our life anymore. Having someone to protect, to cherish, tolivefor, makes us exceedingly more dangerous. Mated pairs have caused entire wars just to be together.”
The thought that no one would ever love her that much was suddenly a painful stab in her chest, but she still didn’t understand why he would prefer not to have one. It sounded… lovely.
“It can also destroy us. A loss of a mate…” He shook his head, experiencing some memory that he didn’t want to.
“Is it somehow different from any other two people who love each other deeply?”
“Yes. And no, perhaps. The bond is a physical thing, a tangible weight.” He tapped his chest with two fingers. “A connection deeper than anything mortals could achieve. It is both a strength and a weakness. I’ve witnessed the loss of the bond break the strongest of Lunae. It is a different kind of absence, a different kind of grief.”
“Like losing half your heart?”
“More like losing half of your soul.”
“Wouldn’t the reward be worth the eventual heartache?” It was a genuine question. She would never experience something like that, never have to decide whether to fall in love or not. Especially now.
“So it can be used against you?” He set the whetstone and knife aside altogether. “Twenty years ago, the Romulan Empire discovered witches in their cities, posing on their counsels, marrying their daughters and sons. Witches from covens outside of Witch Country that Romul’s growth and conquests could threaten. If allied, some of these covens could have depleted Romulan forces, possibly even toppled the seat of power.
“I was still young, full of a need to prove myself, and set myself apart when I realized I could track a witch based on their magical signature. I found the ones within our territories and turned them over.”
“Becoming the Wolf of Romul.”
He nodded. “A handful of years later, that’s when Ralen wanted to send forces farther north. What he, or anyone, didn’t expect was that witchkind would retaliate and have forces of their own, especially years afterward. So, while we thought we were fighting a mortal army, witches ambushed us. They killed off all the mortals, their steel little use against the magic they wielded. However, I was taken captive.
“I learned witches had returned to Romul. Without my particular skill, they had managed to get deep enough in to find out about the pack. They captured some of them, bringing them to a coven in the northwest. But they had hundreds of us, Lunae from over half a dozen packs. They were trying to bind us to them, make us their familiars through dark magic. They wanted to use us in war. The experiment failed so horribly that they gave up on it. So, they made us fight instead.
“They used some hex or spell that trapped us in our wolf forms. They pitted us against each other, mate against mate, brother against brother. Tabion’s mate, Alessa, was forced to fight, but not against him. He had to watch as she went against wolves much larger than her. She fought the best she could, but she was never a fighter. A nurturer, a mother, a soft Lunae with dreams of a house full of pups. By the time I could cause a diversion for the other Lunae to escape, it was too late. They killed her and Tabion was… not the same. Losing a bonded mate is like losing yourself. Worse, even. He still isn’t the same. He was banished from the pack when he refused to come back. It took him years to leave Alessa’s burial mound. I spent another two years caged there, so I wasn’t able to be there for him.”
Rel found she was leaning forward, her hand clutching her tunic over her heart. “That’s… vile. Cruel.” No wonder he hated her and found the job easy. She represented those who had taken things from him, from his loved ones,torturedhim. He had stayed behind so others could escape. Then she had locked him in a cage, too, and left him for dead.
Though she still hated him, she thought she might just understand him.
They were two sides of the same coin. Witches didn’t trust her or want her. They wouldn’t protect her, teach her, or ever love and respect her. She’d never truly have a coven. And he was an outcast in his own pack. The one place they should belong, they were ostracized from. The people who should have accepted and protected them, hated them instead.
Understanding him could lead to feeling compassion for him—a dangerous thing. Whether or not she understood him, if the opportunity arose, she would still need to kill him to get away.
Devdan sniffed bitterly. “It taught me it was better to not have a mate. I would most likely die somewhere, alone, in a foreign land, my body unable to make it home. There’s no point in putting anyone else through such pain.”
Tilting her head, she studied him. He’d given her so much information about himself that she wondered if he realized it. “How did you—”
“That’s enoughconversing.”
And it was said in such a way that she didn’t argue.
Chapter XXII
“Thesewatersareheated.Take a bath. You smell.”
Rel snorted. “I hope you know that you smell like wet dog most of the time. I have to breathe out of my mouth, and even then, I can practicallytasteyour stench.”
When he only grunted, she turned her back to him to undress. Her body, and him seeing it, meant very little to her at this point. Her body had never quite been her own. It was merely a vessel for her magic, a container for her fire.
And a prison for her wild heart.
More people had seen her backside than she could count, and usually it had very little to do with admiring it and all to do with hurting her.
Despite that, she peered over her shoulder, but Devdan had his back to her. She quickly pulled the tunic over her head and slipped off the trousers. Using her own hair as a tie, she managed to put most of it up in a loose bun so as not to get it wet. Not that it was handling any of this weather well.
And not that it would matter when she was locked up in a dirty, cold cell or executed.
