Page 48 of Love vs The Ooze Monster!
“How are we going to stop it, right now? We don’t have the vinegar or…shit!”
Mabel gave a squeak of surprise, as Boyd yanked her backwards. She stumbled against him, out of the path of an oncoming Model-T.
The car careened up onto the sidewalk, the driver apparently in a mindless frenzy to escape. He took out a decorative bench and two potted plants, before awkwardly lurching back onto the road and roaring off. He didn’t even seem to notice the people jumping out of his way. Still holding onto Boyd, Mabel instinctively turned to see why the maniac was fleeing.
And that’s when she saw the ooze monster.
It was bigger than it had been the night before. Now, it was the size of a delivery truck andgrowing. As people ran, long tentacles snapped them up and consumed them.
“Holy fuck.” For once, Boyd didn’t try to mitigate his swearing around her. He didn’t even seem aware of it. His eyes were fixed on the ooze monster. “We are going to need ahellof a lot of baking soda.”
“We’re going to need a rocket.” She retorted, trying to wrap her head around the scope of the problem facing them. How in the world could they stop such a gigantic creature? Now would be a perfect opportunity to strike. It wasn’t running or hiding. Instead, it was heading straight for them.
No. Headed straight for the boardinghouse behind them.
“It’s looking for the flowers.” She whispered. “Last night, it went to the funeral home. Then, it followed Sylvester into the woods, after he put a flower in his lapel. Now, it’s headed for the garden. It’s drawn to those orange flowers.”
“We destroyed the last of the flowers in the garden.” Boyd reminded her. “It’s about to be disappointed.” Reaching under his jacket, he came up with a gun.
“Shooting it won’t work. Sly tried that, back at the funeral home.”
“We don’t know he actually hit it, though. Your cousin was a moron.”
“Step-cousin.”
“Yourstep-cousin was a moron. I promise you, I’m better at killing shit.” Boyd sighted on the creature, aiming for its eyes.
At least, it kind ofseemedlike its eyes? It was impossible to tell, for sure. Mabel couldn’t even be certain that it had a face. Everything was globular and creepily transparent. Boyd sank six bullets into the dead center of its maybe-face. It was an impressive feat of marksmanship, given the distance and the circumstances. The man really was skilled at violence.
Except the ooze monster didn’t die.
Nothing happened, at all. The bullets went into the jellylike goo and just… stopped. The creature kept sliming its way down the street, not even noticing it had been hit.
Boyd made an aggravated noise. “Okay, you were right.” He shoved the empty gun back into his shoulder holster. “That didn’t work.”
“We need to…”
A gunshot sounded from the opposite side of the street, jolting Mabel into silence. Was someone else firing at the monster? Her head instinctively snapped towards the sound, just in time to see Frances fall to the sidewalk in a heap.
Mrs. Patten stood over her dead body, the smoking gun in her hand.
Literally.
Mabel hadn’t thought she could be more surprised by the events of the evening, but she’d been wrong. Never in her wildest imaginings had she ever pictured the matronly landlady murdering her fellow boarder on Main Street. Her lips parted in absolute shock.
“Holy fuck.” Boyd whispered again.
“Oh hello, dear.” Mrs. Patten called to Mabel. “I nearly didn’t see you, over there, in that shameful green dress.” She calmly raised the revolver. “Such a pity you turned out to be a harlot.”
“Move.” Boyd shielded Mabel with his body, as Mrs. Patten fired.
The bullet impacted the hardware store beside them, blasting chips of mortar off the bricks. The sound rang in Mabel’s ears, adding to the chaos.
Boyd hauled her sideways into an alley between the buildings. He seemed to be slipping into some battlefield speed, where he was reacting so much faster than Mabel could. He’d already dragged her to safety, while she was still trying to register the threat. She had no idea how much warfare a person had to see to develop those kinds of reflexes under pressure. She hoped she never found out.
“Are you alright?” He demanded.
She gazed at him, trying to think. “I’m not hurt, but Mrs. Patten just shot Frances! She shot her right in the head!” It was even more shocking than the ooze monster. “Granted, I didn’t like Frances, very much. Did you notice how she was flirting with you at tea?”
