Page 62 of Love vs The Ooze Monster!
Mabel smiled back, her heart expanding in her chest, as she took in the reckless, wild splendor of the man. “Just in case we’re eaten by an ooze monster this afternoon, you should know something important.”
“What’s that?”
“You didn’t need to kill Mr. Carmine.”
He rolled his eyes. “How is Wilson Carmine ‘something important?’”
Mabel kept talking. “And you didn’t need to come to the boardinghouse the other day, insisting that I return to work.”
“Of course I did.”
“No, I was furious and my feelings were hurt, but Ineverwould have walked away from you, Boyd. Not for long. I would have come back on my own. I probably would have punched you, when I did, and made you rue the day you fired me. …But I’llalwayscome back to you.”
He glanced her way and his expression suddenly became more serious. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I have it on good authority that you and I areit.”
His mouth curved. “It’s a certainty, doll.” One hand left the wheel to wrap around hers, squeezing tight. “So, what time can we have sex, again?”
“I’ve tentatively planned it for four.”
“That’s too long. Let’s aim for noon.”
“Let’s kill the ooze creature before you rearrange my schedule.”
“Let’s be optimistic.” Boyd took the turn so fast that it was a miracle the car didn’t go up on two wheels. “I really want to see you in that gangster outfit, so I’m motivated for a speedy monster hunt. I hope to be done before lunch.”
Mabel held onto her annoyingly orange hat, although she wasn’t sure why she bothered. Losing the ugly, beflowered thing would hardly be a tragedy. “If we die in a car crash, we won’t be having sex, at all.”
“I’ve never crashed a car yet and I’ve been stealing them since I was a kid. Stole the first car I ever saw, as a matter of fact. Oldsmobile. Not as nice as this, of course, but a real beautiful machine.”
“Well, this is technically a limousine, so it’s bound to be fancier than most cars.Uncomfortable, but fancy.”
The two of them were crammed side-by-side on the bench-style driver’s seat at the front. It had not been designed with relaxation in mind. That was reserved for the luxuriously upholstered passengers’ area behind them. It was visible through a small, half-opened window. Presently, the ritzy space was filled to the brim with sacks of baking soda and jugs of vinegar.
Mabel hoped Boyd’s optimistic schedule proved correct. They needed to catch the ooze monster and douse it with vinegar and baking soda, as quickly as possible. If the creature continued its rampage or, heaven forbid,anotherooze monster was created with tainted liquor, it would be a tremendous setback for the town’s bootlegging operations. It could impact profits for the entire fourth quarter!
Also, obviously, a lot of people would be eaten. That would be bad.
The Rolls Royce went sailing under a huge hand-painted sign that read “Welcome to Nevermore County’s 65thannual Pioneer Picnic!” Wheeler’s Lost Pond sprawled out in front of them, a dry hole that had once been filled with crystal clear water. Now, it was just a void, lined with cracked, brown dirt. No one knew who or what had caused every drop of liquid to seep back into the earth… Although everyone in town had their suspicions.
“Are you sure Lew didn’t drain that lake?” Boyd asked, right on cue.
Mabel frowned in vexation. “Why does everyonealwaysblame poor Lew for losing that silly lake?”
“Probably because ‘poor Lew’ was the one who was exploding all the explosives, right before the lake vanished.”
“I’ll have you know, the authorities investigated those accusations. They found he only set off firecrackers, for a harmless Fourth of July celebration.”
“Funny, I recall those ‘firecrackers’ going off in March.”
Mabel sniffed. “Regardless, the police said the firecrackers he used for his slightly-early patriotic celebration were small. Nothing that would have disrupted the local water table, like what happened to the lake.”
“Those detonations shook the ground for miles. You can still see the damage.” Boyd nodded towards a jagged crack in the earth that zigzagged up a hill. “Folks said Lew trucked TNT up here.”
“No one could prove that in court.” Mabel defended staunchly.
“Yep, that’s a fact.” Boyd agreed with a smile. “Judge dismissed the whole case.” He sent her a lazy smile. “Tell me, partner… How much did it cost to ensure justice was done for your daddy?”
