Page 43 of Love vs The Ooze Monster!
“Follow? No, I think you’re going to be leading the way.”
She adjusted her glasses and gave a studious nod. “You’re probably right.”
God,everythingwas coming up aces! Boyd kissed her temple, thrilled with life.
“If you want to keep on schedule for our eleven o’clock rendezvous, you’re going to need to focus on the monster.” She insisted. “We’ll soon have the baking soda. Now, we’ll need a large quantity of vinegar.”
“I got that already, too.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, you do not.”
“I do! My late future cousin-in-law…”
“Late futurestep-cousin-in-law.”
The fact that she didn’t deny she’d be marrying him, had Boyd smirking. Some days you just couldn’t lose. “Sylvester ripped me off on that rum deal.” He summarized. “I still have fifty-eight jugs of vinegar in the warehouse.”
Her brow crinkled. “You’re right!”
“I always am. The longer you’re with me, the more you’ll see it.”
“Good Lord.” Mabel murmured in her prissiest tone. “You are getting entirely out of hand with your…” She trailed off, realizing they’d reached the boardinghouse. Her nose wrinkled. “Alright. Here we are.”
Boyd glanced down at her, hearing the reluctance in her tone. She clearly didn’t want to see her puritanical landlady. Well, that was easy to fix. “I’ll get the baking soda. You wait here.” He said, already moving down the path.
She blinked and hurried after him. “What? No, I can do it. Mrs. Patten is sure to make the whole situation uncomfortable.”
“I won’t be uncomfortable.” He assured Mabel cheerily.
“You don’t understand. She can beextremelyjudgmental.”
“Yeah, but you gotta give a shit for judgment to matter… and I don’t give a shit.” Boyd headed up the steps. “Give me five minutes.” He walked right through the front door, expecting to be confronted by a mean old lady.
Instead, there was silence. No sounds. No movement. Nothing. The boardinghouse felt empty.
Luck was definitely with him today.
Mabel poked her head in the door, ready to defend him from her landlady’s wrath. That was cute. When she saw Mrs. Patten wasn’t waiting there with a shotgun for a wedding, she frowned. “That’s odd. Mrs. Patten never leaves the house at this hour. She says it’s too dangerous to be out after dinnertime, what with all the criminals roaming the streets.”
“Until yesterday, she had two criminals under her own roof.” Boyd pointed out. “You and Norris.”
“Oh, Norris doesn’t count. Nobody who puts formaldehyde and lord only knows what else in their recipe gets to be called arealbootlegger.” Her brow furrowed. “You do have to wonder where Norris even got that orange stuff. It’s not an everyday ingredient, whatever it is.”
“Good thing it’s not or we’d need a lot more baking soda.”
Mabel made an “umm” sound and marched into the parlor, still scanning around for her landlady. “Mrs. Patten will not be pleased to lose both me and Norris as boarders, by the way. …Wherever she is.”
Boyd meandered after her. “Maybe Mrs. Patten should be less horrible and then she’d have fewer tenants fleeing her home.” He suggested without much sympathy.
“Oh, Norris would probably have stayed, if he wasn’t dead. I doubt Mrs. Patten will accept that excuse, though.” Mabel glanced at the oil painting of Mr. Patten over the mantle, like he might know his wife’s whereabouts. “It’s strange that she’s not here.”
“Just so she’s gone, I don’t care where she is.”
“Well, thereisan ooze creature eating people. It could be dangerous for a helpless widow to wander around alone.”
“That “helpless widow” could scare away any monster that gets close.”
Mabel snorted. “I suppose you’re right. Let’s pack upallmy stuff, before she comes back. Then, I never have to see her again. We can use my car to take it all back to your place.”
