Page 45 of Love vs The Ooze Monster!
Less than a minute later, Mabel was back and dumping a small box of baking soda all over the bush’s trunk. “This will be an excellent proof of concept for our larger ‘melt the monster’ plan.” She decided with a firm nod. “Very scientific.”
“I flunked biology, so I’ll take your word for it.”
“This is more like chemistry. Baking soda is a base and vinegar is an acid.”
“I never took chemistry, at all.”
“Too busy playing cards?” She guessed.
Boyd made a noncommittal sound.
Hazel eyes flicked over to him, noticing the evasion. “Why did you never take chemistry?” She asked in a more serious tone.
“I never went to high school. I didn’t have enough cash to eat, so I needed to work.”
He’d been too poor to continue on with school, beyond eighth grade. Even that had been a struggle. Without parents and with no intention of living in the Volstead Orphanage, Boyd had been on his own since boyhood.
Mabel’s forehead wrinkled in dismay. “Well, you have more than enough money, now. If you want, you could still get a high school diploma.”
“At my age?”
“Why not? With a bit of work, you can pass all the tests, I’m sure. You might be able to go straight into college.”
He blinked. No one had ever said something like that to him before. No one had ever thought he could do anything with his brain, besides carry out battle plans and bootleg liquor.
“I fully support you continuing your education, if you choose.” She gave a no-nonsense nod. “With my help, you can graduate valedictorian, in no time.”
“Maybe you can tutor me.” Boyd suggested virtuously. “We’re partners, after all. You can keep me on the straight-and-narrow for all my schoolwork. …And I’ll teach youso manyextracurriculars.”
“I’ve never fooled around with the bad boy in class and I’m not about to start.” She sniffed, playing along with his teasing. “I’ve always been a good girl.”
“Nah, you were born a gangster. You just play at being good.” He looked her up and down. “Speaking of… How about wearing a naughty teacher outfit? Would you be into that, at all? BecauseIcould get into that.”
Mabel’s mouth twitched. “Keep it up and you’re not getting into anything, you fiend.” She dumped a bottle of vinegar on the creepy bush.
Instantly, a mass of hissing, foaming bubbles appeared. The baking soda fizzed up, eating through the plant. The insidious orange flowers shriveled, their petals blackening. A terrible sulfurous smell filled the air, as the bush slowly withered and died, right before their eyes.
Boyd stuck his hands in his pocket and gave a “huh” sound. “Well, that worked.” He thought for a beat. “Of course, I’m pretty sure those are the same kind of plants, over there.” The bushes were devoid of orange flowers, but unmistakably the same as the one they’d just drowned in vinegar.
Mabel followed his gaze and made a face. “Oh drat.”
“All of this begs the question of why your landlady is growing so many poisonous plants in her garden.”
“It does seem a bit odd.” Mabel pushed her glasses up her nose. “I definitely won’t be having Friday teas with her, anymore. I can assure you of that.”
“Maybe Norris and Mrs. Patten were somehow making moonshinetogether.” Boyd speculated. “Maybe the orange flower ishercontribution to the recipe, not his.” That would explain why the other plants were free of blossoms. She’d used them in the moonshine.
“Why would an upstanding citizen like Mrs. Patten get involved in bootlegging?” Mabel wanted to know.
“Money.”
“Oh… Well, there is that, I suppose.”
Boyd nodded. “I think we should at least ask her some questions.”
“That means I’ll have to talk to her, after all.” There was a distinct pout in Mabel’s voice. “I was so pleased when she wasn’t here to lecture us, too.” She sighed. “Ohfine. When Mrs. Patten shows up, we’ll find out what she knows about the orange flowers.”
“If we put off the meeting with her until Tuesday, we can show up for the interviews safely married.” Boyd suggested in a helpful tone. “Not much she can lecture us about, then.”
