Page 125 of Happily Ever Witch
He had a wonderful smile. So full of genuine gratitude. How pleasant to have someone grateful for all she’d done. Lord knew, her family rarely appreciated her. “I think we’ll both get what we want, if we…”
“Majesty.” William, the obnoxious lizard from the Tea-Partier set, came stumbling onto the veranda, interrupting her very productive meeting. His words were garbled by the bandage wrapped around his tongue. “Thank God!”
The Queen of Clubs looked William up and down in dismay. Typically, he was well-dressed, which was why the Mad Hatter approved of him. Her husband was quite the fashion plate, with the perfect purple top hat for every occasion. At the moment, though, even Hatty would agree that William looked like he’d been mauled by coyote-shifters. Vicious teeth-marks covered his scaly skin. His natty suit had been shredded. He seemed to be missing some fingers.
Who in their right mind came before theirqueenin such sorry shape?
Her nose wrinkled in distaste. “What in the world…?”
“Gingerbread men attacked me. Only they weren’t normal gingerbread men. They were more like monsters.Mutants.” William half-crawled towards her. “I barely escaped with my life.”
Marrok’s eyebrows soared. “Ginger-mutants.” He murmured to himself. “Huh. She finally got the spell to work.”
The Queen of Clubs blinked. “Who did? The witch?Esmeraldadid this?”
“Yes!” William answered around his sodden tongue bandage. Drool was pooling from his mouth, as he tried to talk. It was quite disgusting. “Her and the dragon. They attacked me unprovoked.” He made it to the balcony railing, his mangled hand leaving bloody smears on the glossy stone. “You must stop them.”
“I plan to.” The Queen of Clubs edged back from the injured man and all his various fluids. She was wearing white, for God’s sakes. “Why are you here, William?” Honestly, she thought she’d poisoned him along with the caterpillar and the March Hare, back in the Spade Kingdom. It was hard to keep track of all the various hangers-on.
“I need help!” He wailed.
“Well, I’m not a doctor or a…”
William rudely cut her off. “Then get me one! A reputable one, not some glorified village nursemaid. I’ve been hurt for days, but I can’t get anyone worthy to show up and treat me. The whole kingdom is in chaos. People turned to hogs, and wars in rose gardens, and someone even said Sir Galahad was coming, all the way from Camelot!”
Marrok’s head tilted.
“Sir Galahad?” The Queen of Clubs was actually interested in that rumor. Even though she’d locked down all access to Wonderland, she was hardly going to ban a superstar. Maybe the knight wanted to arrange a royal visit. It could become a media event. That would raise her international profile as a monarch, even more than having a wolfball playerfor a son-in-law. “Well, ifhewants to come, we’ll need to throw a grand ball.”
“Majesty, please…”
She cut him off. “I only hope the wretched whimsy of this place doesn’t embarrass me, in front of Sir Galahad.” Sometimes she felt like Wonderland’s chaotic magic actively plotted against her. “Once I’m empress, I’ll be taming the rough edges of this land and making some big changes to…”
“I’m dying!” William shrieked, focused solely on himself. “Youhaveto help me. I helped you plenty of times.”
Of all the nerve! “I’m a queen! When did I ever needyourhelp?”
“I got you the three brilligs!” The words were all slurred and wet. “You owe me a favor.”
The Queen of Clubs’ lips parted. The brilligs! Ofcourse.She’d used them to get the wolf from the Enchanted Forest and it had worked perfectly. Why stop there?
She waved a hand at William, done with his selfish nonsense. Her magic blasted the nagging lizard right off the edge of the balcony. He went careening into the courtyard below, with a screech of terror and his reptilian eyes bugging out of his head. It was quite ghastly to watch. A Tea-Partier should have more dignity in death.
Marrok gave a slight wince at the echoing sound of William hitting the checkerboard cobblestones. He craned his neck to watch the carnivorous white roses grab hold of the lizard’s body with their thorny branches. They dragged him into their flowerbed, starving for his nice, hot blood.
She furrowed her brow. Hmmm… Were lizards warm-blooded?
Pat, the pigeon gardener, would be annoyed if William damaged the blooms with his unappetizing, reptile corpse. Pat was proud of the white roses. He only liked to give them high-quality victims. Good-looking, naked women were his particular preference. The Queen of Clubs didn’t ask questions about where the girl’s clothes went, before Pat tied them up for the feedings. Pat was an artist. No sense interfering with his methods.
Although, between the tedious innocents the Mad Hatter sucked dry of their Good magic and the roses’ veracious appetite, it was a wonder the castle ever got cleaned. They went through six maids a week! No one in the Club Kingdom much cared where all the girls went, but still floors needed sweeping and beds had to be made. Why were mothers the only ones who understood what it took to run a household?
Marrok grunted as the flowers devoured William. “…Or you could’ve just called a doctor for him.” He remarked, like she’d asked for his opinion.
On the Chess Tower, the red queen shifted towards the white side of the board.
The Queen of Clubs didn’t notice. “Oh, who cares about William?” She waved everything aside, because she’d just had a brilliant idea and she needed to share it. Having other people admire her brilliance was the best part of being so brilliant. “I know how we can arrest the dragon!”
Chapter Twenty-Four
