Page 171 of Happily Ever Witch
Wonderland wanted one of the queens to reach the eighth square on the chessboard… on Tove, the eight square added to a seven day calendar… and be doubly-double crowned empress of all four lands.
It was obvious to anyone ignoring the rules. Anyone who really listened to the silly clues. Maybe Wonderland was looking for an empress who accepted its nonsense and played along. Maybe that was therealgame.
“Marrok?” Snow White searched for him beneath a table, her forehead creased in agitation. “Where are you? You’re not supposed to leave. Mommy said I could keep you forever and brush your pretty hair!”
Grimhilde shot her a sideways look, disapproving and vaguely alarmed by the other woman’s instability. “Is shealwayslike this?”
“Do you have something to say about my little girl?” The Queen of Clubs demanded, flashing her a warning glare.
“Ihave some stuff to say about that psycho.” Esmeralda volunteered in a not particularly helpful voice.
The Queen of Clubs attention snapped back to her. “I’m about to retain my crown and you’re about to become an empty husk. What could you possibly have to say, that I’d want to hear?” She paused meaningfully. “Well, besides ‘goodbye’?”
Outside, the red pawn exploded on the chessboard. The Queen of Clubs laughed, the sound slightly crazed. She must have used a surge of her own Good magic to destroy it, but Esmeralda wasn’t sure why she bothered. The empress contestcould only be settled by the queens. Anyone who understood Wonderland could see that.
“Anna?” The Mad Hatter drew his wife’s attention. His chest barely moved, as he struggled to breathe. “You must take out her queen.”
The Queen of Clubs still didn’t get what was happening. Wonderland wasn’t really her home. She just wanted to own it. To change it into something controlled and homogenous. But Wonderland wasn’t like other places. It had a magic all its own. A sense of self that it would exert over any would-be rulers, if they threatened to erase its weirdness. Nothing could ever tame Wonderland. Not without a fight. Wild things fought for freedom.
“It will be the eight square any moment.” The Queen of Clubs soothed the Mad Hatter, her eyes damp with emotion. “Once I’m empress, everything will be fine. Until then, the witch’s magic will sustain you.” She jabbed an oh-so-tastefully manicured finger at Esmeralda. “She’s fifty percent Good.”
“Forty-nine.” Esmeralda corrected, amazingly calm. “And you know, I’m still not convinced you can quantify magic, with levels and percents. I think maybe it’s bigger than all that bullshit.”
No one else agreed.
Grimhilde sniffed with haughty distain. “What would you know about magic? Your powers are abysmal.” She looked over at the Mad Hatter. “I doubt they’ll be very appetizing.”
“It doesn’t matter what she tastes like!” The Queen of Clubs shouted. “Hatty,” she lifted his head, trying to get him to focus, “you need to eat her magic.Now. It will keep you alive!”
His creepy, spiraling gaze opened just enough to fix on Esmeralda. For one horrible second, she sensed his attempt to suck the Goodness from her. It felt like he was ripping at her bones, trying to break through to the very marrow of her being. But he wasn’t strong enough to hurt her.
None of them were. Shebelievedit.
Her magic roared to the surface. For the first time in her life, she knew just what to do with her over-abundance of Good energy. She didn’t know all the steps to get there, but she knew the result she wanted and she believed that her powers could achieve it. The rest would come naturally.
Esmeralda yanked back from the Mad Hatter’s magical grasp and looked at the Queen. “You don’t understand Wonderland, at all.”
Unadulterated Good energy flowed through her, bright as a summer day. She threw a hand out, towards the Chess Tower, and shoved with all her might. Magic poured free, like gossamer morning dew and the happy darting of hummingbirds in a meadow. It was the purest, Goodest, most powerful spell she’d ever cast.
And it hit the chessboard like a wrecking ball.
The meticulous game was destroyed. All the carefully planned moves ruined. The remaining pieces toppled over in a hopeless jumble. …Except one.
The red queen stood tall, as it slid forward into the eight square.
Outside, the Chess Tower startedbong-bong-bonging.Unlike a clock striking, the chime was spaced all wonky andit wasn’t counting down the time. It was signaling something much bigger.
One…
“Impossible!” The Queen of Clubs shrieked. “You can’t win!” Her eyes went to her husband, like he might be able to do something. “Only a pawn can be promoted to a queen. No other piece gets rewarded for reaching the eight square. Only the pawn! A queen cannot become adoublequeen! And certainly notdoubly-double.”
Thebongskept slowly chiming. Two…
The Mad Hatter blinked. “I thoughtallthe pieces who got to ‘kings row’ got crowned.”
“That’s checkers!”
“Well, you should have explained the rules better, before I built the damn tower.” He sounded defensive, even through his pain. “I told you a hundred times,I don’t play chess!”
