Page 103 of Happily Ever Witch
“Lyon N. Unicorn misspelled the word. That’s what I discovered, back in the WUB Club. It’s why Snow White was after me.” Trevelyan had died in some other timeline to keep that information secret, but relaying it all to Esmeralda felt natural. It felt right. “The wizard’s typo is why no one can ever cast the spell. The final ingredient is always wrong, because no one is usingceilingwax.”
“Oh.” Her eyes traveled upward. “Who would want to wax a ceiling?”
“Nobody. Hence, the whole spell is impossible.”
“Well, nothing’s impossible in Wonderland, right?” She gave another shrug. “The magic around here likes things all topsy-turvy. Get a can of floor wax and turn it upside down. That’s probably all it will take, in this dumb place.”
Trevelyan’s eyes widened at that blasé suggestion.
“Ordon’tdo that, actually.” Esmeralda continued. “I’ve got shit to do this week and I’d rather the world not end. My liquid gold nail polish isn’t going to market itself… Crap.” She sighed, because Trevelyan was already scrounging around in cabinets.
He began tossing everything from under the sink, searching for a can of floor wax. There had to be one. Maybe there was a supply closet someplace?
“I don’t even think youshouldcast the spell.” Esmeralda complained. “Didn’t you say it would end all of existence?”
“Only in the wrong hands…”
“Which yours almost certainlyare.”
“…And only potentially.” He moved onto a different cabinet. “I think I can avoid existence ending.”
“Still not filling me with confidence.”
“This is going to work, Ez. Ibelieveit.”
He really did.
The next can Trevelyan grabbed was floor wax and heknewthis was the answer. Casually using magic, he swept up the other ingredients.
Out on the lawn, the flying pig looked around in confusion as three of his feathers went soaring through the kitchen window without him attached. Esmeralda gasped like Trevelyan was a brute, even though the hog was perfectly fine. Trevelyan hadn’t harmed the little guy.
“I’ll make it up to him.” Trevelyan promised. “Double apples for his breakfast.” He dumped all the ingredients into one of the empty pots that Esmeralda used for mixing her nail polish.
“Do not mess up my best cauldron with that gunk…” She trailed off with a jolt as Trevelyan set it all on fire. “Poor rog.” Shetsked, as it was incinerated.
“I need your shoes next, darling.’
“Dream the hell on.” She scoffed.
“We need them to take over Wonderland. Your shoes for an imperial crown. It’s a fair trade.”
“They’re my favorite boots!”
“I’ll get you a hundred more pair.”
She pouted for a beat. “I want a record store.”
“You’re a queen, on her way to being an empress. What are you going to do with a record store?”
“I don’t know. I just want one.”
Well, whatever his mate wanted she should have. “Alright, then. I’ll get you one of those, too.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow?”
“You’ll get me a record storetomorrow? You promise?”
