Page 152 of Happily Ever Witch
But what if there was more than just whimsical inanity happening here? What if the craziness was actually a code? Everything in Wonderland was stupid, but it wasn’t alwayspurposelesslystupid. If she approached a door and gave the wrong ridiculous answer, the knob might alert the Queen of Clubs. That could be disastrous for Marrok and Trevelyan.
She needed to find another way into the palace.
Muttering curses in the forgotten language of witches, Esmeralda moved around the perimeter of the castle, looking for an unguarded entrance. The whole place was locked up tight. At least on the ground floor.
Her eyes went up to a balcony, jutting out from a higher level. Hmm…
Even if she’d had a broomstick handy, which she didn’t, flying would for sure draw attention. That was out. But, maybe she could get up there a more surreptitious way. Esmeralda wasn’t about to risk any powerful spells, out in the open. Nothing that evenhintedat frogs. Some smaller magic might do the trick, though. She could create a ladder, like when she manifested herself a hairbrush at bedtime. Simple. Harmless. Low key. Anyone could do that.
Concentrating, she focused all her energy on creating a nice, safe ladder.
What she got was a three-story, loop-the-loop circus slide.
Esmeralda blew out an aggravated breath. Fucking Good magic. It seemed to douse all of her spells in acid-tripping happiness.
At the top of the adorable slide there was a gigantic clown face with a glowing red nose. If anyone was dumb enough to ride it, they would travel through the clown’s gaping mouth, as they rode down his twisty tongue. Esmeralda wasn’t dumb enough to ride it. Not only couldn’t she climb up the smooth, shiny surface of the clown’s tongue, but she also wasn’t thrilled with the idea of crawling passed his giant glittery teeth. They chomped up and down amid calliope music and mechanized laughter.
The damn thing was already attracting attention.
“What in the world isthat?” A dwarf in a doctor’s coat asked from behind her. He’d stopped walking to frown up at the multicolored spectacle that Esmeralda had inadvertently created.
“How dare you question our brilliant Queen of Clubs!” Esmeralda snapped back, counting on her playing card guard disguise to brazen through. “If she wants a carnival slide for her balcony, we build her a carnival slide. They’re all the rage in elite decorating.”
The dwarf stroked his long beard. “Is it for Snow White’s wedding to the wolf?” He asked, almost to himself. “Does she want a clown-themed reception? Has she slipped that far into madness?”
Esmeralda gaped at him, forgetting to stay in character. “Snow White isn’t marrying Marrok!” She yelped. Scarlett would flip out, when she heard that idea.
“Snow White thinks she’salreadymarried to him. She just wants a new wedding, because she can’t remember the one that never happened.” That demented explanation was delivered in a bored tone. “As her therapist, it makes my job easier to just go along with the delusion.” He gave a dismissive shrug, clearly indifferent about keeping patient-doctor confidentiality.
“As her therapist, you should stop her from holding the fake-groom captive.”
“Marrok Wolf played for the Southlands’ Wolfball team.” The dwarf informed her loftily. “I voted for theEastlands. That bastard cost me a fortune, over the years. Screw him.” He went stomping off, muttering to himself about sports gambling and the grim subconscious meaning of red clown noses.
Jesus… Esmeralda liked being a bitch, as much as the next Baddie. But the citizens of the Club Kingdom just plain sucked.
Shaking her head, she distanced herself from the clown slide and followed the cobblestones around the courtyard. It felt like she was going in circles, because the path was laid out like a spiraling chessboard. The design had probably been super expensive to have installed and the effect wasn’t worth the money. It created an optical illusion that made you feel like you were falling, even with your feet firmly planted on the ground.
Not to mention, it all mixed in with the Chess Tower, which wasalsocovered in checks. And the icy white castle. And the big black fence. And the white snow. And the ominous black gallows, in the square. …The black-and-white color scheme of the Club Kingdom was crazy monotonous.
Aside from the rainbow slide, the only splashes of color were the red chess pieces on the tower and some red roses in the garden. Wait. Esmeralda skidded to a halt.
Red clown noses.
What is a loaf divided by a knife? Red.
The Cheshire Carpet said the Queen of Hearts should always play red.
In the WUB Club, the most dangerous inmates, like Trevelyan, Marrok, and Esmeralda, had the red designation.
And now there were a few red roses, in the otherwise starkly white landscape.
Yeah… Wonderland was for sure using codes.
Esmeralda changed directions and headed towards the garden. The closer she got, the more her mind struggled to process what she was seeing. Had someonepaintedthe roses? What kind of dumbass painted roses red?
And that’s when she realized it wasn’t red paint, after all. The roses’ petals were smeared with blood.
Esmeralda’s eyes widened in shock. Tangled in the thorn-covered bushes were bodies. She recognized William the lizard and several half-skeletonized women in handcuffs. The plants seemed to be drinking from them, weaving vines around them like cocoons.
