Page 45 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas
From “O Come All Ye Space Cannibals”
A Christmas Carol for Non-Earthlings by Sadie Malone
“A woman?” Elf scoffed. “I heard that rumor circulating yesterday, but it’s nonsense. There are no women on Corono.”
“Hehas one.” The tattletale pointed at Xane. It was that damn mailbox-looking alien, from the Lego bar. How did his mouth even work? “Some soft, exotic species of female that rich men breed for pleasure. None of us could figure out why she chose a Rtaharion as a mate.”
Sadie made a face at the jackass, wondering if she had enough hand sanitizer to squirt him, too.
Xane’s jaw tightened, and he slowly got to his feet.
“No woman chosehim.” Elf waved a hand at Xane. “Don’t be ridiculous. If a female were with him, he must have stolen her from her true husband.”
“I have no woman.” Xane declared flatly. “The e’byrn lies.”
“Youlie!” Mr. Mailbox shot back. (He must’ve been the e’bryn.) “Everyone at the Tavern saw you pick her up and carry her off. She most likely came from the Lythions’ ship. Only they could afford such a being. Look at how muchthatone just gambled and won!”
All eyes went to Sadie.
Oops.
She winced and fought the urge to back away from the intense alien stares. Okay. Um… What would George Clooney do, right now?
“You possess awomanon your ship, Lythion?” All of Elf’s serpent-heads were at attention, now. “In the name of Vice-Corporal Siganthum-Rycen Lonel Lonel, I demand that you surrender her immediately! The Vice-Corporal has long coveted a wife. If any females are on this planet, he must have first choice of them.”
“Only women choose.” Xane snapped. “That is the law on every planet.”
Elf’s attention swung back to Xane. “He is the Vice-Corporal of Corono!”
“There are plenty of Vice-Corporals. There are limited women. He doesnotget to claim what is not freely given.” He shot the crowd a disgusted scowl. “None of you bastards do.”
Noweveryonewas back to glaring at Xane, which had probably been his intention. Sadie exhaled the breath she’d been holding, realizing her teammate just saved her ass.
How could she save his?
Elf’s middle head swayed in a slightly hypnotic way, like he was trying to bring Xane under his thrall. He was so slimy and dickish.Gremlinswould be the only Christmas movie to have him as a character. “There’s a deal to be had, slave. Hand over the female and I’ll see you set free.”
“I’ll stay in bondage forever, before I even tell you her name.” Xane said flatly. His eyes flicked to Sadie for half-a-second, silently telling her to slip away. To escape, while they were all focused on him.
She slowly shook her head.
His expression darkened at her refusal.
Sadie crossed her arms over her chest, unwilling to leave him.
His face tilted towards the sky, like he was beseeching the alien gods to grant him patience.
“The Rtaharion should be arrested!” Mr. Mailbox shrieked. He’d clearly taken offense at Xane calling him a liar, because he wasnotbacking down from this argument. “He should be tortured and made to give us the female…”
Xane wrenched off the guy’s weirdly flapping jaw, shutting him up forever.
His prayers for patience hadn’t worked, because he’d seriously justwrenched off someone’s jaw.Holy crap! Sadie’s lips parted in shock as the alien’s body fell to the ground, in a pool of orange gore. Xane’s bound hands had whipped out andrip. No more Post Office-y guy. It was maybe the world’s quickest murder.
Sadie winced. Shit. They were for sure getting added to the naughty list.
Xane tossed aside the flat hunk of Mr. Mailbox’s lower-jaw, his gaze fixed on Elf. “I will fight you, until one of us is dead.” Rtaharions didn’t say words they didn’t mean, so it was a blood vow. “And the corpse will not be me.”
“The planet is only so big, slave.” Elf stepped closer to him, mechanical hands clenching. “Sooner or later, I’ll find your woman, no matter how hard you resist. There is nothing you can do to…”
