Page 37 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas
She smiled winningly. “Reallyhappy.”
With a frustrated curse, Xane sighed and turned towards one of the spaceship’s control consoles. He began jabbing at buttons, using more force than was probably necessary to do…whateverit was he was doing.
Sadie wrinkled her nose, curiosity getting the better of her. “What are you doing?”
“I am going to send a message to Hathgarr, before we begin this madness.”
“You’ll call your brother for help?” Sadie asked excitedly. “Really? You were against that idea before.”
“I have considered our conversation from yesterday. I should not have stormed off Hathgarr’s ship and left him with no word of my fate.” Xane made a face, like admitting he’d beenwrong was a bitter pill to swallow. “Now, when I am killed, at least my brother will know where to look for my body.”
“You really think an elf is going to kill us?”
“Oh, I’m sure I’ll die this day. You will live, though.”
“How am I going to survive, if an evil elf murders you?”
He glanced her way. “Because I willalwaysmake sure you survive.”
And Sadie felt her heart goboom.
Chapter Ten
Oh little town of Corono,
Why do you exist at all?
“Nuke the sight from orbit,”
Would be myAlienscall.
From “Oh Little Town of Corono”
A Christmas Carol for Non-Earthlings by Sadie Malone
So, it turned out Elf wasn’t an actual elf.
Elf was a person named “Elf.” If you considered aliens “persons,” anyway. Which they clearlywere. They could obviously feel and think and --God knew-- they could talk. Presently, Sadie was standing in the middle of a marketplace, which seemed to specialize in pottery. Colorful tents were overflowing with vases, jugs, and bowls. Chattering aliens walked up and down the open-air aisles, just as person-y as any window-shopping humans.
It was just… The word “elf” brought to mind someone harmless and lovable. Right? Someone who liked syrup on spaghetti, and making toys, and wore adorable green shoes. No one could blame her for being a teeny bit shocked, when she was confronted with the totally wrong kind of elf!
No. Not “wrong.” That was insensitive.
Her initial assumption had simply been biased. Alien dialects couldn’t seamlessly translate into English, after all. There were bound to be some linguistic hiccups, and she needed to account for that. While “elf” meant one of Santa’s holiday helpers to a girl from Toledo, “Elf” in alien-ese meant a huge snake-monster with three heads. That was totally valid. Anyoneon a foreign planet had to keep an open mind and not be so culturally myopic.
It was just… She had a right to be upset, didn’t she? Now, she needed to deal with a three-headed snake-monster named “Elf.” Anyone would be upset about that.
Elf was huge and mean-looking. In addition to his three heads and wavy necks, he had a robot-ish kind of body. Presumably because it was easier to get through social situations with arms and legs. Again, though, that could be Sadie’s own intrinsic biases at work. There were surelyplanetsfull of very successful slithering creatures out there. Sadie hoped never to visit them, but they no doubt existed.
Here on Planet Horrible, however, most of the aliens were bipedal, so the infrastructure wasn’t built to accommodate the snake population. Enjoying the amenities would be difficult for Elf, without donning a vaguely human-shaped body. It was logical that he had a robot suit and not at all something she should be gaping at.
It was just… Crap.
This whole thing wasinsanelyweird.
Sadie watched Elf, from beneath the heavy hood of her alien-kidnappers-disguise. Xane was super-paranoid about people realizing she was a woman. Pretending to be a Lythion was an easy enough way to keep him calm, even if the red-and-white robes were hot in the desert.
The two of them were standing in one of the many thin alleyways that connected to the central bazaar. Dozens of small booths were scattered in the plaza, with long tables set up and sparkly decorations everywhere. It looked like a European Holiday market. Or at least how Sadie imagined they looked,since she’d never been out of the Midwest. Unless you counted space travel.
