Page 34 of Knight of Darkness
“You truly do not know why?” she asked whilst tears now streamed down her cheeks.
“Tell me,” he whispered in encouragement that he would at last hear her heart’s desire.
“Because I am drawn to you, Wymar, for all the good it will do me. The feelings you bring out in me are ones I have never felt for any other man who has crossed my path. I am constantly left confused and uncertain due to these emotions you have stirred within me. Desire. Yearning. An ache in my heart that longs for you to put an end to my misery. But I do not know how to handle or act upon these feelings for if I do, what will that leave me? Alone and having to deal with the consequences of my foolish actions after a brief dalliance with you. That is why we cannot be mere friends, you bloody cur!” Her voice carried into the night and Wymar stepped back in shock to hear such a confession.
“Ceridwen, I—” he stumbled to figure out the right words to say. He couldn’t think of how to express how he felt about the woman who was waiting for him to also confess his feelings. In many ways, his own emotions mirrored hers as though he was already on the way to learning he could someday fall in love with her.
Before he could respond, a sob escaped her. “As I thought. I am nothing to you. A woman you would ruin so you could conquer another heart and leave them without another word come the morn. Arthur was right about you. I should have listened to the voice inside my own head and my first impression of you back at the inn. You are a disappointment and I should have never given you my very first kiss. You are not worthy of such a gift.”
She turned and fled, leaving Wymar still reeling from her admission of the strength of her feelings for him. Confusion tore at him as he attempted to figure out how to soothe the hurt he had unknowingly thrust upon the woman. He cared for her. There was no doubt of that, but he was hardly in the position to offer her marriage. He did not know what awaited him back at Brockenhurst. And knowing how much her home and her father meant to her, he could not ask her to leave them behind.
He made his way back to the camp only to find Ceridwen curled up in a blanket near the fire. Her back was turned away from the flames but Wymar could still feel her tears and heartache far into the night. He was a fool to dally with this woman’s affections. He would return her to Norwich and make his way back home. She was lost to him and this time he was not going to be able to charm his way back into her life. Mayhap ’twas for the best.
He grabbed his bedroll on the opposite end of the fire even as Arthur came to stand next to his lady guarding her throughout the night. Ice formed around Wymar’s heart and he vowed he would never let sentiment guide him again.
Chapter Nineteen
Sperling watched insatisfaction as the battering ram shattered what remained of the keep door at Norwich. They had finally broken through the last of their defenses. Knights swarmed inside the keep even whilst he heard a man shouting to yield the day. ’Twas obvious those seeking shelter inside the keep had seen enough bloodshed given they had not many left to defend the land. Bodies outside in the bailey were scattered everywhere but Sperling barely gave them a thought as he rushed inside and strode confidently into the great hall.
Ceridwen’s father stood proudly near the hearth. His blood-soaked tunic gave testimony to those in the king’s army he had slain prior to seeking what he assumed would be safety within the keep. The man swayed when Sperling neared. Lord Hamon was either injured or just taken aback that Sperling had successfully led the attack on his castle.
“Sperling,” Hamon shouted. “What the bloody hell is the meaning of this invasion? Why are you with Stephen’s men?”
“’Tis obvious, is it not?” Sperling waited but a moment before he continued. “Hamon Ward of Norwich, I hereby claim Norwich Castle in the name of His Majesty King Stephen and strip you of your title. I also sentence you to death for the traitor you have become by favoring the false queen!” Sperling grinned as he delivered Lord Hamon’s sentence.
“How dare you invade my home?Youare the traitor to our true queen! What have you done with my daughter?” he shouted as two knights took him into custody.
“Your daughter is no longer your concern. She will no doubt return before long and she will swear her fealty to the rightful kingandto me before I take her to my bed. I have Stephen’s favor now and no longer need her as my wife in order to secure the lands. She will make a lovely whore, will she not?” Sperling laughed when Hamon lunged for him. He still intended to marry Ceridwen, for he had no wish for their sons to be illegitimate, but there was no need to tell Hamon that. Not when there was such pleasure to be found in baiting him.
“I will see you in hell first,” Hamon warned.
“Keep a place warm for me then since you will get to the fiery pits much sooner than I ever will.” Sperling came up to the hearth and sat in the overly large chair reserved for the lord of the keep. He gave a wave of his hand. “Take him away and see that his head is placed on a pike outside my gates. ’Twill be a welcoming gift for Ceridwen upon her return.”
As Sperling watched them wrestle getting the man out the front door of the keep, he clapped his hands with a fair amount of gratification that all was going according to his grand plans. Now, to only await his wife’s arrival to Norwich. He would use her in every way he could think of to ensure she knew her new role in life… to see only to his pleasure.
Chapter Twenty
Ceridwen lost countof the days they continued their journey south. At times she swore she could detect the scent of the salty ocean breeze in the air and she became homesick. At others, the odor of smoke caused her to wonder where the smell was coming from. She only wanted to see her father and have him wrap her in his embrace and tell her everything would work out as it should. She should have never left Norwich. She should have listened to his council. She could not change her foolish decision to fight for the Empress’s cause but Ceridwen would beg his forgiveness as soon as she entered their hall. She was so close to home now and wanted to throw caution to the wind and race Defiance the remaining way to the castle. But that would be another foolish act on her part considering she knew not what awaited her return.
Regret consumed her along with the thought of never seeing Wymar again. She caught his stare before he turned away and knew he, too, was thinking of their short time together. A heavy sigh escaped her, and she swore her heart would never be the same again. Her Knight of Darkness had left an impression on her heart that would be hard to erase, even though they could never be together.
“’Tis for the best, Ceridwen,” Arthur exclaimed coming abreast of her horse.
“Aye, I know.”
“You shall find another and he will be worthy of your love,” he continued, staring ahead to the road before them.
“Nay, I will not. Love is for fools. Better to wed for monies and land than to let such a stupid emotion as love dictate how your life will be led.”
“Do not be so rash and appear so sad, my lady. You will find love one day.”
She turned her face to her captain, willing the tears to not creep from her eyes. “I will never allow love to rule my heart.” Her breath hitched at her vow and she took a moment to regret what could have been with Wymar. She almost laughed at the irony. She had no idea if she even really had Wymar’s affection to begin with.
“You do not mean that, Ceridwen.”
“Were you not the one who said I should be wary of Norwood?”
Arthur frowned before answering. “Aye.”
