Page 48 of Knight of Darkness
She turned back toward the ocean, waiting for some sense of peace to fill her. But she felt nothing, much like she had felt nothing since she last espied Wymar leaving through her gates. If he had only taken a moment to look back upon the keep, he would have seen her watching him from the highest point on the battlement walls. Waiting for some sign that he might stay even though she knew he could not. She had willed him to turn around so she might have one last look upon his face but grimly watched such hope fade when he at last left her vision.
She sighed and waited for Arthur to speak, knowing he had much on his mind.
“You knew this day would come, my lady,” he began as he, too, faced toward the ocean to stare out at the horizon.
“But I am more than capable of seeing to Norwich. I do not need some steward dictating how the place should be run until my husband, whoever he may be, decides what to do with the estate,” she fumed. She swore her whole body shook with fury.
“There she is,” Arthur said with a small laugh.
She turned a quizzical brow to him when she looked up at him. “Who?”
“The young woman with the fiery spirit who has been missing of late.Thatis who.”
Ceridwen managed a weak smile. “She has been gone a while now. I do not know if she shall ever return.”
“She will… given time.”
“But how much time do I really have?” she asked, lifting her fist heavenbound. “Time to ensure Norwich is secure before this steward shows up to run the place in my name whilst I must needs go marry somemanwho will expect me to bow down to his every whim?”
“Not every man is Ratcliff, Ceridwen.”
“Do not dare mention his name to me!” she ordered.
“Mayhap ’tis best we discuss him now. I may not be the person you would most prefer to have this talk with, but since your lady mother has been gone many a year and you have no one else to confess what that scum did to you, I am here and willing to listen. I can assume what happened given your aversion to being touched.”
He laid his hand upon her back ever so gently in a soft caress and although she at first flinched, she realized that the comfort Arthur offered her was nothing more than providing solace to her troubled soul.
“He never went so far as to touch me inthatway although it seemed he was growing closer to it. He certainly grew bolder as each day passed into the next.” She did not mention how the thought of her possibly carrying Wymar’s child was the only thing that deterred Ratcliff from going further in his desire to take her. She had flung the notion into his face often enough. If only that had turned out to be true! When her monthly courses started, another bout of sadness had filled her knowing she did not carry the last part of Wymar with her. Of course, the fact that there would be no baby simplified things in many ways. If she had been unmarried and with child, this would have only brought further complications into her life. But still, she mourned for what could have been.
Arthur heaved a sigh of relief. “Then we can be thankful you were not violated in such a way.”
“But how will I stand a husband who I do not know…” she looked up at him with tears filling her eyes, waiting to spill over, “touching me… in that way?”
He lifted her chin so she would look him square in the eye. “You are Lady Ceridwen Ward of Norwich. You will manage your wifely duties the way you have done everything in your life: with courage to handle any difficult situation that may be pressed upon you; with valor, for this has been engrained into your very soul since the time of your birth; with determination to return to some semblance of a normal life, for this is what your parents would have wished for you; and with all the love that you can give, if you are so blessed, to your children who will one day carry on your legacy.”
She nodded to show that she had taken in his words, even if she wasn’t certain she was willing to accept them as yet. Still, she was grateful for the comfort from this man who had watched her back for many a year now. She gave him a hug before putting some space again between them. “You must think highly of the paragon of virtue that you think I am.”
“Aye, that I do, my lady. I only pray that eventually you will see that although you have been hurt, time will heal your heart so you may learn to live your life again.”
“And this man I am to marry?” she asked as though God had forsaken her in her desire to remain unwed.
“Mayhap you will even come to care for him. The Empress would not send you to marry a nobleman who is not worthy of you. Did she give you his name?”
“Nay! She told me nothing in this missive, only that before the end of summer she will send a retinue to take me west to my new home. At least she has given me through the summer to see the fields are ready to be harvested in the fall for the coming winter.”
“Mayhap all will work out as it should,” Arthur suggested.
A snort escaped her. “I highly doubt such will be the case but I am glad you think so.”
“Time, Ceridwen… everything takes time.”
That night in her chamber as she stared at the ceiling, she was overwhelmed once more with fear for the unknown. She closed her eyes and at last dreamed. For the first time in a long while, ’twas a pleasant dream of a man with tawny colored hair who loved her in a forest glade and blue-grey eyes she could lose herself in. She was in love again and loved in return. And with the dawning of the new day, she awoke smiling.
Chapter Thirty
August, Brockenhurst
Wymar came infrom the fields. For months he had been restoring Brockenhurst so that one day the estate would be returned to its former glory. Upon his return, he quickly learned that many of the outbuildings had been destroyed. Rebuilding them all would take time, but at least the keep was still intact. Overseeing the land to ensure everything was ready for the coming winter had become a daily ritual for him. The years since he had last set foot on his birthright seemingly faded away, and Wymar could almost envision the stone walls that would again be erected to surround the place and keep him and his family safe one day.
