Page 31 of Knight of Chaos
Richard sat back and studied Theobald for a moment until he replied whilst shaking his head. “I have known you for almost my whole life, Theo, and you judge all women based on one from your younger days. I regret I could not warn you about Lady Millicent once I learned of your feelings for her. She was never worthy of your love. But since the day she broke your heart, you hide behind this façade that life is here for only your amusement. I know better, as do you, if you but take the time to look inside your heart. Do not wait too long to claim the fair lady. Elsewise, you may be in the same situation as Wymar once was… pining away for a woman who will never be yours.”
’Twas as though Richard’s speech pierced a part of Theobald’s heart that he had encased in ice for more years than he could remember. The memory of a woman whom he once thought was the love of his life flitted across his mind. He had been young, too young to realize she merely amusing herself with him. He had not thought of her in many a year, nor had he been willing to even speak her name. Flashes of their brief time together sped unwillingly across his mind until that fateful day when she told him she would wed another—one who could provide her with a home, a title, riches—but that she had enjoyed their short time together. From that day forward, he refused to let another woman get close enough to him to allow even a dash of hope that love might find him. At least until now.
And even now, his instincts shouted at him not to move too fast. Surely it would be better to wait until he had proven himself to the Empress, had won an estate for himself, before making his offer. Why would Ingrid ever agree to marry him if she did not believe he could provide her with a comfortable life?
Female laughter from the next table brought Theobald out of his sudden melancholy mood. His friends were once again eating their fill, but Richard’s gaze remained on him. He lifted one brow in a silent question and Theobald only shook his head and instead began to eat his fill. There would be time later to figure out how his life might proceed with or without the fair Ingrid. With her newly elevated status as one of the Empress’s attendants, it seemed all the more important that he secure his fortune before asking for her hand. He’d need the Empress’s blessing to marry one of her ladies, and she would not be likely to give it until he had proven himself.
The evening meal progressed without any further jesting from the men around him. Soon, the tables began to be moved to allow for the eve’s dancing. Minstrels tuned their instruments in a corner of the hall. The Empress waved her hand in permission for the entertainment to begin as ladies and knights began pairing off and taking their places in the center of the hall.
Theobald found he could no longer restrain himself when the prospect of taking Ingrid into his arms lay before him. He rose and strode toward the dais, making his bow before Empress Matilda. “With your permission, I would like to ask Mistress Ingrid for this dance.”
The Empress nodded her approval and Theobald went over to the lady of his choice and held out his hand. Ingrid rose from her place and made her way around the table. Her cool fingers slid into the palm of his warm hand, and he began to escort her across the room.
“I do not know the steps,” she confessed quietly.
“I shall teach you,” he stated whilst his gaze swept her body until a rosy blush caressed her cheeks. “You are beautiful tonight.”
“’Tis just these garments and jewels that make me so,” she said lowering her eyes.
His finger lifted her chin, so she had no choice but to gaze into his eyes. “Nay. Your beauty has always been there for all to see if one only cared to look close enough.”
She bit her lip. Theobald wanted to kiss her mouth until those lips were as rosy as her blush and she lost her breath. “I want things to go back to the way they were.” Her honest reply that she wished they were together melted a piece of his heart.
“As do I.”
“Whatever shall we do, Theo?” she asked in a tone that conveyed her unhappiness.
“Whatever we must,” he said for he could give her no shred of hope they would be together any time soon. He did not know what the morrow might bring.
He had no time for a further reply as the music began and he concentrated on teaching the steps of the dance to the lady at his side. She was a quick learner and once the pattern of steps came easily to her, she relaxed. Her laughter rang out and once again another piece of ice was chipped away from his heart. She was a joy to be around, and God help him, but he was falling under her spell. His heart would never be the same.
Chapter Twenty
Strangling smoke mingledwith the fog layering the dew-covered ground. She gasped for air even whilst her boots dampened as she hastened across the battlefield. The sounds of the dead and dying were all but silent now, and yet the voices inside her head screamed for her to hurry to reach the castle and the safety she would find within.
She stumbled, sliding across the ground where mud mingled with the blood from those who had fallen in their attempts to win the day. A corpse stopped her from skidding further causing a cry of anguish to be yanked from the depths of her soul. Her eyes squinted shut and yet she could not remain this way forever for she needed to continue her way before the gates were closed for the eve.
Finding her courage, she stared once more into the sightless eyes of the dead knight. ’Twas a grim reminder he would forevermore stare up at the morning sky and yet see nothing. Thankfully, a priest would come soon with the rising of the sun to bless the dead, along with those who would carry the bodies away to be buried. Rising to her feet, she cared not that she was covered in mud and blood from her fall. She was yet alive. She had survived the battle. ’Twas all the mattered! But as she began to run once again, the morn started transforming as though someone had turned time against her. Day became night in the time it took her to blink, and she knew she had little chance of gaining entrance to the keep if she did not hasten her steps.
She ran as fast as she was capable. As she approached the barbican gate, no knight called for her to proclaim her allegiance to the Empress. Nay! She walked unhindered straight through the entryway and beneath the deadly portcullis. Making her way into the inner bailey, the place was as quiet as the battlefield had been. There were no servants rushing to and fro with their daily chores, nor did anyone guard the entrance to the keep. She walked up the steps and entered into the foyer to an eerie silence that was deafening. ’Twas as though she was the only occupant on the entire estate. The thought caused her to run toward the turret stairs that would lead her to the one man who held her heart.
Climbing the stairs two at a time, she reached his open doorway, out of breath. Her chest heaving from her efforts to reach his side, she at last saw him in his bedchamber. He was a welcome sight to behold, and she sighed in relief that he, too, had lived to see yet another day. But there was something wrong with him as she stared at his solitary figure inside his chamber. He looked dejected. Alone. Distraught. He held his head in his hands whilst sitting in a chair near the hearth. And then she heard his words and understood his fears…
“She is gone. Dead! I have failed her,” he cried out before he took a nearby cup and threw it toward the hearth. The goblet loudly clanked when it smashed against the stone wall before the dark red wine slowly trailed down to puddle on the floor.
She entered the room almost afraid to reach out to offer him comfort. “I am here,” she said resting her hand upon his shoulder.
He flinched. Raising his head, his gaze flitted across the room and yet he did not see her. How was that possible?
“Now I hear her voice as if I was dreaming,” he murmured. “How shall I ever go on without her in my life?”
She knelt before him, gently placing her hands upon his knees. “I am here, my dearest love. Open your eyes and see me,” she pleaded to no avail.
“I shall never be the same without you,” he whispered, “but forever will I cherish your memory.”
He took a deep breath to collect his inner most thoughts before he rose. She also stood, waiting for him to finally acknowledge her presence. But ’twas not to be for he walked right through her. Her once whole body disintegrated into a vague smoky cloud until she was miraculously pulled back whole. Panic filled her when she looked down and noticed she floated above the floor. My God! She was dead!
*
