Page 38 of Knight of Chaos
“I am afraid to ask what more you could say to me after you have already informed me that everything I have ever known about myself has been a lie,” she stated whilst his pacing continued. A frown marred her brow. ’Twas clear there was another matter of grave import that Theobald had not as yet confessed to her.
“’Tis the Empress…” he began. He came to a sudden halt then returned to her, taking her hands.
She raised one brow at his tone. “Whataboutthe Empress?”
“Ingrid…” He cleared his throat as though whatever he was about to say was difficult for him.
“What about the Empress?” she repeated wrenching her hands away.
“She demands we marry once we reach Gloucester,” he blurted out.
A gasp of surprise left her lips until the situation became clear inside her head. Anger replaced her startled reaction to his words, and she lashed out at the man standing before her. “Oh, does she now? I suppose the land and riches I bring with our union will be beneficial to her and her cause. And what of you? You get out from beneath the shadow of your older brother with an estate large enough to see you comfortable for the rest of your life. What aboutmywishes?”
The moon revealed itself by creeping into view from behind the clouds. Hurt flashed across Theobald’s features until concern filled his eyes from her words. “I understand you have your reasons to be angry, but you are being unfair, Ingrid,” he said quietly before turning his back on her. “I have never once been unkind to you and your assumption that I only wed you for the monies you bring to fill my coffers is beneath you.”
She had the decency to inwardly cringe that her words had caused him pain. But still, she pressed on. “’Tis not true? Will you not become lord and master if we were to wed?” she asked attempting not to cry at the injustice of her situation.
But she knew his answer before he could even respond. If what Theobald had briefly told her of Calbridge Castle was correct, she was a very wealthy woman. A prize for the taking. Any man would welcome the opportunity to become her husband. With their marriage, she would lose everything the instant she said her vows. All her wealth would be her husband’s to manage.
“You know I care for you,” he hissed before picking up where he had left off moments ago… pacing the forest floor.
“But you do not love me…” Her words, once whispered, lingered in the air between them like the bitterness that crept into her voice. A sour taste filled her mouth and still she could not stop her words from spilling past her lips.
He skidded to a halt. “Ingrid, I—”
She held up her hand to stop any further words from tumbling from his mouth. “I suppose there is no need to answer my question. For I will now never know if you, in truth, love me for who I am or if you are just fulfilling an obligation to our Empress. Either way, I am the loser in a game played by those who have the most to gain.”
He turned abruptly, coming to her so swiftly she barely had time to catch her breath. He took hold of her upper arms and gave her a shake. “Again… you are being unfair and go too far, Ingrid. If you look deep inside yourself, you know that I care for you. Do you think I could honestly take you to my bed if I did not wish for you to become my wife?” he said, scolding her.
A sob unwillingly escaped her. “You would not be the first to take advantage of a woman by pulling at her heart strings while concealing your dishonorable intentions. I suppose you will not be the last.”
He let go of her arms as if in defeat. He seemed as though he was as upset with their situation as she was. “Then you do not know me at all,” he scowled turning away from her.
Tears leaked from her eyes. “We are like two different worlds colliding together in a sea of chaos,” she whispered.
“I have no notion what you speak of. We are of the same worlds,” he growled out in frustration.
“Are we?” she asked pleading with him to somehow understand the torment she was suffering. “You were born into nobility. I am but a simple farmer’s daughter. Do you in all honesty think I will ever be able to fit into a world where I am naught but an ornament to be dangled from some lord’s arm? I will never fit into such a world. Just look at me!”
He came to stand before her. “Iamlooking at you, Ingrid, and I seeyou. Not the wealth you might bring to our union, but you,” he replied, his tone crestfallen. “I may have been born into a noble house, but I have been on my own with my brothers as a mercenary longer than under the watchful eyes of those who might think to rule me.”
She lifted her chin. “And yet the Empress has ordered you to wed me, so you are obviously under someone’s rule now.”
“And you would demand me to disobey her?” he asked in annoyance.
“Mayhap in this instance,” she replied knowing she could not expect him to defy the Empress any more than she could do so herself.
He raked his hand through his hair and Ingrid pondered what she should say to ease the tension between them, but the words would not tumble from her mouth. She watched his shoulders heave. He at last turned back around but once more she could not see his expression. Mayhap ’twas for the best.
“Theobald—”
He held up his hand as she had done moments before, and she snapped her lips shut. “I think you have said enough. I understand you are upset but for now, I do not think I could stand to hear you say another word that would tarnish my feelings for you. We should return to camp.”
He did not wait for her to proceed first. Instead, he left her alone with their conversation running rampant inside her head. Standing in the dark shivering, she could only wonder how her life could suddenly turn out so very wrong.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Theobald fidgeted withhis tunic as though the garment was strangling him. The past several days without Ingrid to talk to had felt like hell on earth. He missed her presence by his side, the sound of her laughter and voice, and even her anger. The good Lord above knew Theobald’s heart was true but how was he to prove such to Ingrid if she refused an audience with him? And now this… a wedding before he could even honestly voice how much he had come to care for… nay… love her. Ingrid’s words from the forest rang inside his head and he vowed to prove his love if it took the rest of his life.
