Page 33 of Unsubmissive Omega
I paused, my thumbs tapping together as I studiously avoided her eyes. “I really like him, Marta. I can’t explain it. I know I don’t really know him, but I just feelsomething. I’ve never felt this for anyone else. And now I’ve ruined any chance of anything with him.”
“And does he know how you feel about him?”
“No. I haven’t had the chance to tell him. I can't get near him!”
Marta’s dark curls flopped about her head.
“You’re going to have to find a way to talk to him. Not just for your own sake, but for the pack as well. There’s no-one here who could run this pack as well as you, and you know that. You owe it to the pack to sort this out.”
“That’s…. kind of true. But there is Zendius. He’s more than capable of leading the pack.”
Marta muttered something to herself. Then her blue eyes looked straight into mine. “Donotlet the pack go to Zendius,” she said, surprising me with her vehemence. “I know he was Erebius’ second for a while, and everyone expected he would end up as pack leader, but there’s something about him…”
A pink stain washed over her cheeks. “I’m probably speaking out of turn, here, I know. Forgive me, Alpha. But there’s something about him I just don’t trust.”
*****
I paused, my fist raised millimeters from the timber. The air whistled along my nasal passages as I drew in a deep and fortifying breath.Goddess, help me.
My legs felt weak. Not from the challenge I’d already fought this morning, though that had been more difficult than the ones before. I could feel the weariness in my muscles from the relentless duels. Day after frigging day. But it wasn’t that that made me tremble and my legs feel like they wouldn’t hold me up a minute more.
Day after day, Xander had managed to dodge me, avoiding any possibility of me getting him alone for a private conversation.When he was in his room, he didn’t respond to my knocks, and when he was out of his room, the door was locked. I could have easily gotten in and laid in wait, but that felt predatory. Though technically it was my bedroom too, it would have been a clear violation of his wishes. After the fiasco of our mating night, I was anxious not to makethatmistake again.
Anytime Xander was out of his room, he was in the company of Zendius. I didn’t want to disturb their growing friendship, particularly if it was helping Xander to feel safe in his new pack, but I had to admit to a growing resentment of the ease between them. Whenever I came across them, the stiffening of Xander’s posture felt like a slap in the face. Zendius never gave any indication that he noticed, but he couldn’t have failed to see the change that came over my mate at the sight of me.
I let my hand fall. There was only so much a man with self-respect could do. If he didn’t want me, then he didn’t. I couldn’t keep doing this.
This time I didn’t knock, just turned and walked away. There was a physical ache in my chest. It’d taken so many years to find him, and now I was going to lose my mate.
And I was going to lose the pack too.
Chapter 16
XANDER
The omegas sat cross-legged in a circle in a room very similar to the training rooms, only this one was decked out as a giant nest. The floor was covered in a thick, soft, textile resembling a giant quilt, with lots of colorful cushions and throws scattered over it, roughly organized into a circle. The walls of the room were painted a subtle yellow that complemented the brightly cheerful accessories. About 10 -15 omegas lounged in the nest, chattering excitedly.
The conversations died away as I appeared in the doorway. I scanned the group, relieved to see the tall blonde omega, who was my competition for Darius’ attention, wasn’t present.
“Hey, is this the weekly omega support group?” I asked. Darius had mentioned it to me early on, but to be honest, I’d immediately dismissed it from my mind, since I wasn’t planning on sticking around. It was only this morning, when I’d overheard some omegas talking excitedly about it, that I’d relented to curiosity about the hype.
“Yes, come join us!” called out one of the omegas. She was a dark-haired omega with an impish face somewhat similar tomy own. Her eyes sparkled with enthusiasm or mischief and I guessed she wasn’t one to be afraid to speak up. My kind of person, really.
“Okay.” I settled myself into the nest with the others. “So, er, what do we do during this session?”
“We mostly just talk.”
“About things we don’t really want the alphas or betas to hear.”
“Sex stuff mostly,” chimed in the omega who’d encouraged me to come in.
“I’m down for that,” I said, before remembering that I couldn’t really talk about anything Darius and I had done, not that there’d been anything since that first night. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing even that much though.
“That’s not all we talk about,” said one of the others, a fair-haired guy that I judged to be a year or two older than myself. “Darius sometimes organizes someone to come and talk to us.”
“Oh, like lecture you?” I wrinkled my nose, that didn’t sound like fun.
“Oh no, not like that. It’s usually an omega with some sort of background that’s a professional. They hop in the nest with us and tell us about their job, or if they’re a psychologist or counselor or something like that, they teach us all sorts of useful tricks and tips.” There were murmurs of assent from the group.
