Page 36 of Unsubmissive Omega
“Your mark is fading. The pairing has to be re-consummated before the next full moon to complete the mating, otherwise the mark fades and with it, the mating. Everyone can see you haven’t lain together since the first time.”
Well, I’d known that. I’d been counting on it, but I wasn’t expecting there to be repercussions for Darius. “If you stay, he’ll lose the pack. Eventually he’ll lose a fight and then he’ll be exiled or killed. You’ll get to stay here nice and cosy, while he pays the price.”
I gasped. “Surely they wouldn’t choose me over him?”
She looked at me speculatively. “You really don’t know much about pack culture, do you? The Alpha Mate is the soul of a pack. It’s they who holds the pack together, or in your case, tears it apart. The pack will always choose the Alpha Mate, because the pack is only strong if it stays together.”
“But Darius is an excellent Alpha, one of the best there is. It would be wrong for him to be cast out,” she continued.
She turned back to look out the window. Darius had a bleeding wound on his thigh where his latest challenger had managed to score a strike. Hehaddefeated him however and the third challenger hadn’t yet stepped forward.
But they would. They would keep going until he faltered. I could see that now. More alphas had gathered. Even at this distance, I could see hope shining avariciously in their eyes, as each waited for their turn.
This wasn’t fair! Each of them only had to fight once. He was fighting against all of them. And he was a good man, I knew that. With the blinkers of my self-righteous anger ripped off, I could see so much clearer. I’d been hurting a good man, a good mate, one who might even have come to hold affection for me, if I’d just been a decent human being.
Remorse choked me, leaving me speechless. This was so wrong. That this proud, gentle alpha could lose everything because of me. I had been hurt by this mating, but so had he, and despite that, he had done nothing but try to make things easier for me since then. I thought about how he had guarded me during my heat, respecting my wishes for him not to touch me. It must have been torture for him, standing guard at my door, ensuring no-one could disturb me while I was vulnerable.
This was all my fault. I’d been so blinded by my own selfish anger that I hadn’t considered how our mating would affect Darius or the pack. I hadn’t even given Darius a chance, closing myself off physically and emotionally so no bond could grow between us.
Suddenly I saw all that I was going to lose. A man, a good man, a man I’d been attracted to at the start, and who I could have lovedif I’d let myself. A man who’d been unfailingly gracious and kind with me, despite my appalling behavior.
“I’m going to stop this,” I said, as I turned and raced for the door. I hoped it wasn’t too late.
When I got outside, Darius was standing on his own, and the group of assembled alphas was listening as the next challenger conversed with his friend who had just been defeated. Were the gathered alphas all intending to challenge? Or were some simply spectating? There were too many. I was shocked to recognize Zendius’ face within the crowd. Why wasn’t he defending his leader? Wasn’t that his role as second?
From where I stood, several yards behind Darius, I could see the sweat on his back, his hair shiny with perspiration, and the faint flush of pink barely visible on the dark skin.
The next challenger stepped forward.
Darius was so focused on the challenger and they on him, that no-one noticed my presence until I ran up behind him. When I placed my hand on his lower back, Darius jumped in surprise. The challenger halted, mid-step, eyes narrowing.
“Alpha?” I said, uncertainly.
Darius turned his head quickly to glance at me. The sharp look of concentration softened, and I saw the affection and sadness, and such longing in their depths, that it took my breath away. How had I not noticed before?Because I’ve never let myself truly see him before.I’d been too busy being angry. But I’d been angry at the wrong person.
“Go back inside, little one,” he said gently, turning his head back towards his challenger who was hesitating now that I was in the way. “There’s about to be violence out here.”
He turned back to me.
Slipping his index finger under the neckline of my shirt, he rubbed his finger over my fading mating mark, looking sorrowful and lost. Then he told me, “This mark will be gone in a few more days, maybe a week. You’ll be officially unmated, and free to leave. I know you don’t like it here, so I won’t stop you. The pack will make sure you have the money you need until you find your true Alpha.”
No, no, no, no, no!I could feel my wolf so close to the surface, howling in my chest, frantic that he was going to be ripped away from his mate.I’m sorry, I silently told my wolf,I’ve been so stupid!
Tears welled up.
I threw myself onto the ground in front of Darius in the most submissive posture I could make; on my knees, head down, whimpering.
“P-please Alpha. I’m so s-sorry. I’ve been such a poor mate,” I stuttered, forcing myself to speak loud enough that the assembled challengers could hear my submission. Submission didn’t come easily to me, but it was important to do this right. “It was stupid and selfish of me. Please forgive me!”
Darius’ large, calloused hand ruffled tenderly through my hair. For the longest of moments he didn’t say anything, and the slow caress of his fingers across my head felt almost like he was memorizing… NO! This couldn’t be a goodbye. I choked on a sob.
“It’s all right, Xander. You didn’t ask for any of this. You’ll be free to choose your own mate.”
“Alpha!” I howled, resting my forehead on his leg, soaking the torn denim with salty tears. “Don’t send me away. I’m sorry. Please Alpha, I want to beyours. Iamyours. If… if you’ll still have me…”
Even as I sobbed, I tilted my head, submissively exposing my neck. As choked with emotion as I was, I still had enough wherewithal to ensure I’d positioned myself so the assembled crowd could see I had exposed my neck to him. Distantly, I heard a murmur ripple through the crowd, but my attention was all on the alpha in front of me. Would he reject me now?
His hand was firm on my head as I waited. He held me in place.
