Page 24 of Sloth
“I think you should be focusing more on what you're going to tell Koben.” I bring her back to reality and drag her away from the window. Luke’s taken off his shirt, and it’s far too much of a distraction.
“I don’t know what to tell him. When I think about it all, my head just becomes a scrambled mess. What the hell am I gonna do if my parents decide they don’t want me living at home?”
“They won’t, but if they did, you could stay here. Everything is going to be just fine. You never know, Koben might want you to move into his place.” I stare at her when she bursts out laughing.
“Don’t be ridiculous. The guy can’t stand me; we were even insulting each other during the sex we had.” I look at my best friend and shake my head cause I have no answers for her. At this point, I don’t even know if I’ve got hope.
“I’ve never seen you do that before.” Luke looks at me oddly as he takes a seat on the couch beside me and continues watching me paint my toenails.
“I’ve never had anyone to make my toes look pretty for before, but now...” I lean over and kiss him.
“Now you're gonna make me obsessed with your feet as well as every other part of your body.” He grabs the foot I’m done with and pulls it onto his lap, then rubs his thumbs into my sole before I can get mad at him for making them smudge.
“That feels incredible,” I tell him, abandoning the work I’ve got left to do on my left foot so I can lie back and relax. I spot car headlights outside, and I quickly sit back up, pulling my foot free and putting a respectable distance between us.
I hate that we can’t be ourselves around anyone else, and the sad smile he gives me as he gets up to answer the door tells me he feels the same.
“Howdy, folks.” The door swings open before Luke manages to reach it, and when Koben steps inside, he’s wearing a clean, pressed shirt and jeans that aren’t worn or ripped.
“You look smart. Where are you heading?” I laugh as he takes his hat off and holds it to his chest like he’s about to sing the national anthem.
“Weare heading out of town to that new bar that opened last month,” he tells me, making his way over to me, taking my hand, and forcing me to stand up.
“We?” I check. I heard him right.
“You got it. I’m taking you out, girl,” he tells me assertively, and I feel my stomach drop.
“Oh…I–”
“I’m not taking no for an answer, sweetheart. You’ve been stuck between these four walls for far too long, and it’s my duty as Matthew's best friend to ensure that you don’t turn into one of those crazy fuckin widows.”
“That's not gonna happen,” Luke intervenes, but Koben ignores him and starts dragging me toward my room.
“Go put on something pretty, you deserve to have some fun. I’m sure Luke here will appreciate some time to himself.” He winks at Luke as if he’s doing him some kinda favour, and when I look over to him and wait for him to argue, he shrugs his shoulders and says nothing.
“Are you waiting for permission or somethin’?” Koben laughs as he stares between us suspiciously.
“Erin don’t need my permission to do anything; she’s her own person. She makes her own decisions,” Luke answers him, taking his seat on the couch and picking up his beer.
“You heard him, honey.” Koben turns all his attention to me, and knowing how stubborn the man is, I sigh with defeat and head to my room to change.
This is awkward,reallyfucking awkward. I’m sitting in a bar opposite my dead husband's best friend. The same best friend who's clueless to the fact that three months ago, he knocked up mine.
“Bet it feels good to be outta the house,” he tells me over the sound of the woman wailing out some sad country song.
“Sure.” I look around, wondering if there's anyone here we know. Me being seen out alone with Matthew's best friend would sure set tongues wagging around Fork River, even if this is completely innocent.
“I know things are tough right now, and you’re feeling like your future’s been lost, but you're too young to give up,” he tells me, surprising me with how deep he’s getting. Koben has never taken life too seriously; despite what Liza thinks, they are actually quite well-suited. Just not when it comes to parenthood.
“Life goes on, Erin. People heal, and as his best friend, I know Matty would have wanted nothing but the best for you.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand.
“Thanks,” I tell him gratefully, noticing how he keeps hold of it. He even swaps the hand he’s drinking his beer with to keep it there, and when a few more seconds pass, I wonder if he’s gonna let it go at all.
“It’s kind of you to think of me, but I’m doing okay,” I assure him, trying to slide my hand out from under his without being rude. I should be grateful for how thoughtful he’s being, and I guess he’s probably feeling lonely himself without his best friend. Him and Matthew were always heading out drinking together. I used to enjoy the freedom of those nights, but it always came with consequences. Drunk Matthew was far crueler than sober Matthew was. I still have the scars on my knees from where he broke a whiskey bottle and made me kneel on the broken glass. All for his own entertainment.
“I think Matthew would want you to move on.” Koben reaches out for my other hand and stares at me so intensely, I feel my eye sockets start to sting.
“It’s still early days.” I smile and look around us in case anyone is watching.
