Page 30 of Sloth
“I’m afraid it’s looking that way, son.” He lowers his head, looking even more uneasy then he did when he arrived.
“But that would mean it was someone he knew; someone who’s been here in this house,” I say my thoughts out loud.
“It’s not the gun that killed him,” Erin tells us firmly. “I’m not crazy, I know I checked for it. It was right there.” She’s not acting herself today; she’s tired and frustrated. She’s been that way since she found out her mom died, and I wish she’d stop pretending to be okay about it and just let me comfort her the that way she needs.
“I hope you're right.” Nelson turns to leave, and after I’ve seen him out the door, I go to her and wrap her up in my arms.
“I’m not crazy, Luke, that gun was here.” She looks up at me.
“No one's saying you're crazy. Sit back down, I’ll pour you some wine.” I kiss the top of her head and make my way to the kitchen to grab her a glass.
“No!” she calls out after me. “I… I don’t want any wine.” She looks so tense; it sure looks like she needs one.
“Baby, tonight is wine kinda night.” I smile at her.
“I said I don’t want any, Luke. Jesus Christ!" She storms past me to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her and making me wonder how the hell I can make this better. I pour myself a whiskey and head over to the couch, wondering who would have had access to the house to get that gun. Issac and Jake were with me the whole time we were rounding up the herd, but either one of them could have snuck in and taken the gun while we were out lookin’ for him. Maybe, instead of looking at the people who were present that day, I should be suspecting the ones that weren’t. The whole of Fork River turned out to look for my brother, but not his best friend. Koben was supposedly outta town, but he’s been acting strange lately. Coming on to Erin, while everything's still so fresh. Trying to take over with things here. Maybe this was all part of some big plan.
I hear sobs coming from the bedroom, and knowing that she needs me, I put all those suspicions to the back of my head, finish what's left in my glass, and go to her.
I find my girl still fully clothed, lying on top of the covers, and crying her little heart out.
“I’m sorry,” she tells me, turning to face me and wiping her eyes. “I’ve treated you so badly today; taken everything out on you. You don’t deserve it.” She plays with the hem of my shirt when I sit down beside her.
“You’ve had a rough day. But it’s over now. Let’s just get some sleep, start a fresh one tomorrow.” I guide her to lie down, wrapping my arm around her waist and holding her tight against me.
“It’s okay to feel sad about your mom, even if you didn’t know her,” I explain, wishing I had the right words to make her feel better.
“My mom knew what my dad did to me. She knew, and she did nothing. Sometimes, I hate her for that more than I hate him,” she confesses, and when I have nothing that I can say back, I hold her a little tighter.
“It’s okay to feel sad about Matthew even though he’s not who you thought he was.” She turns to look at me over her shoulder and smiles.
“I’m not sad, Erin, I’m angry. More at myself than I am at him.” Her face screws up in confusion, so I decide to explain.
“I wanted to ask you to that senior prom. I even bought you a corsage in case, by some miracle, you said yes.”
“So why didn’t you?” She rolls in my arms so her body's facing mine.
‘Because I was scared. I saw ya in the hall talkin’ to your friends, looking all pretty, and I jibbed.”
“Luke, that's craz?—”
“It’s my fault. All this is my fault. If I’d had the courage, if I’d have had just a little determination, you would have been mine from the start.I’mthe reason you drove yourself to the prom.I’mthe reason you were alone that night, and he was the one who offered you a lift–”
“But youweren’tthe reason I married him,” she interrupts me. “That was my own stupid fault.”
“Yeah, well, it’s over now. We got good times ahead of us. Don’t let this gun situation scare ya. Whoever did this to Matthew probably did it ’cause he deserved it.” It hurts to say, but it’s true. I’m determined to find out who it is, not for justice, but for peace of mind. I need to be sure that whoever did it won’t be coming for her.
“What if it was someone we know? What if the killer was in this house?” She sounds so weak and scared.
“You're safe,” I assure her, tucking her head into my chest and kissing the top of it again. “I’d die before I let you get hurt. And I’d kill before I let anyone take me away from you,” I whisper into her hair.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ERIN
“Luke, have you seen my—oh, you're here?” I’m shocked when I step out of my room and see Liza standing in the kitchen.
“Did you tell Luke I was pregnant?” she yells at me.
