Page 21 of Sloth
“Mom, I’ll be fine. Brock knows I’m not an expert, but he’s putting his faith in me. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, and this is something I really think I can do well.”
“I don’t think your father's gonna be happy.” She scratches her forehead.
“Yeah, well, Dad’s never happy, Mom. This can be the latest thing I do that he gets to moan about.” Luke picks up his hat and heads out the door, and Mary looks to me as if I’ve gone crazy.
“Are you really okay with all this?” she asks as if I should be protesting with her.
“Like I said, I'm just grateful to have him here. Luke’s been amazing, Bryce would be real proud of him.”
“Yeah, well, Luke’s right about one thing. Nothing pleases Bryce these days. Grief has swallowed him up, and it’s not looking like it’s gonna spit him back out anytime soon.” She looks so sad as she takes a seat at the table.
“You haven’t heard anything from Sheriff Nelson, have you?” She asks me the same question that she asks every time I see her.
“No, nothing, but I’m sure he’s doing his best.”
“I just keep asking myself, why? Why would this happen to us? Matthew was a good person; he was so kind and helpful to everyone he met.” I move away to finish making her coffee when her words start becoming hard to listen to. And when I place the cup in front of her, she snatches my hand in hers before I can pull it away.
“Where's your wedding ring?” she asks with a look of sheer horror on her face.
“I took it off,” I answer, staring down at my empty finger and loving how freeing it feels.
“But why? Why would you do that?”
“It just felt like the right thing to do.” I shrug because I can’t give her the real reason; it would break the poor woman’s heart.
“How could taking off the ring Matty gave you to symbolize your marriage ever be the right thing to do?” Her voice gets louder and angrier.
“Because everyone deals with grief in their own way.” I stand my ground because there is no way I’m putting that damn ring back on my finger. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. “I’ve got it somewhere safe. I’ll always treasure it, but I don’t want to wear it.” I lie to the woman's face because my wedding ring isn’t somewhere safe at all. I tossed it in the river when me and Luke went for a ride a few days ago. Wearing my wedding ring while being intimate with Luke didn’t feel right, and I’m all about moving on and looking to the future these days.
“I suppose it won’t be long till you're clearing out all his stuff too.” She huffs another sarcastic laugh, and I decide I might as well get everything out in the open while she’s already pissed at me.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want me to do with everything, so I’ve boxed it up. You're welcome to go through it all and take whatever you want.”
“You boxed it up?” She snuffles. “Packed his life away in boxes when he’s not even cold.”
“I had to; seeing his things around the house, opening the wardrobe and seeing his clothes…it…it hurt.” That part at least is true; every shirt held a bad memory. I remember the beatings I took while he was wearing every single one of them.
“I’ll keep everything here until you're ready,” I assure her, knowing it must be hard for her. She knows nothing of the violent monster her son was; in her eyes, he was perfect. It’s natural for her to want to keep his memory alive for as long as possible.
“I should go. I just wanted to drop off the muffins.” She stands up, holding back her tears, and starts making for the door, and my conscience quickly steps in. This is a woman who’s just lost her son.
“Mary, I’m sorry if this is too much for you. I?—”
“It just feels like everything's changing. The world is just carrying on, and I don’t know how to carry on with it.” She takes a tissue from her pocket. “You’re right, we all deal with our grief differently, and I guess I’m still trying to find a way to deal with mine,” she admits weakly.
“You don’t have to leave, you can stay. We can talk about Matthew, if you like?” I can’t think of anything worse, but this woman clearly needs an outlet. I know from talking to Luke that Bryce is completely checked out. She welcomed me into her family so lovingly, I can spare her a few hours to make her feel better.
“Are you sure?” she checks, her eyes already looking a little brighter.
“Of course, I’m sure. Come on, let's sit on the couch. You can tell me all about how he was when he was younger.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LUKE
“Heard you're starting up your own little enterprise.” I hear Koben’s voice and stop hammering to look down over the roof.
“Whatcha doin’ here?” I ask, before climbing down the ladder.
