Page 32 of Sloth
“It’s Mary’s birthday; we’re heading over there for dinner tonight. It’s a dress she bought me, so I was gonna wear it.”
“Come on, I’ll help you pick out something else.” She drags me up and leads us toward my room. “So, what bomb will you drop on the Edwards first? The fact you're sleeping with their other son or the fact you're carrying their grandchild?” she asks as she flicks through my wardrobe.
“I think I should probably drop the one about the gun before we get into any of that.” Mary or Bryce hasn’t called this morning, so I assume it’s up to me and Luke to explain what Sheriff Nelson told us last night.
“What about the gun?” Liza looks as concerned as I was last night.
“Nelson showed up here late looking for Matthew’s gun; apparently, it’s the same model as the one the killer used to shoot him,” I explain.
“So what’s Nelson saying? That the killer used Matthew’s own gun to shoot him? That’s ridiculous.” She shakes her head and gets back to looking through my bleak wardrobe.
“Especially since I know that gun was here the whole time. But when we looked in the cabinet, it was gone. I promised to keep Mary and Byrce updated, so I’ll mention it to them tonight,” I assure her, starting to doubt if I did actually see the gun. Maybe Matthew did take it with him, after all.
“Did Nelson say anything else while he was here?” I can see how freaked out this is making her, and I keep trying to forget that the person who did this could have been here in this house that day.
“No, I don’t think they have much to go on; it’s taken two months for them to get this far.” I feel that sinking feeling in my stomach again.
“Can you remember anyone else being here that day?” she questions me.
“Just you and me, Mary…Maisie Carson…Oh, and the whole freakin’ town,” I answer back sarcastically. If I think about it for too long, I get scared,” I admit, taking the pink button-up dress she’s pulled out my wardrobe from her hands and hold it up against me in the mirror.
“You know, I’m real proud of how you're dealing with all this.” Liza takes me by surprise, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. “I think it’s best that you try not to think about it at all.”
I smile gratefully at her in our reflection. It’s rare for her to show this kind of affection; I put it down to those pregnancy hormones.
I sit on the bed staring at all three of the pregnancy tests that I did yesterday. One wasn’t enough to convince me. I’d sent Liza back to the pharmacy two more times before I was prepared to accept that there hadn’t been a mistake. All of them show a very clear positive, and I go back through the messages on my phone, trying to remember the exact date of my last period. Usually me and Liza will message each other complaining, and when I see the last message from me to her was almost three months ago, I get that feeling of dread again. I booked an appointment for a sonogram for tomorrow; it should answer the question if this baby is Matthew’s or Luke’s, and I’m terrified of the answer.
“You ready, baby?” I hear Luke coming and start to panic, quickly gathering up the tests and looking for a safe place to hide them.
I go for my usual spot, the loose floorboard at the back of the wardrobe, and manage to tuck them away just before Luke opens the door.
“What ya doin’ down there?” he asks, offering me his hand to pull me back up.
“Looking for some shoes to match this dress,” I think fast, pulling out a pair of heels that used to be Liza’s. She often gave me clothes she was done with; she must have noticed that I never had anything new and would have assumed it was because we were struggling financially. When, in reality, it was more about Matthew’s control. He was very strict about what I should wear; he hated me in anything bright. I was only allowed to wear the butterfly dress because it was a gift from his mother, and he said she’d expect to see me in it.
“Erin, you know you don’t have to hide shit from me.” Luke looks hurt.
“I know that.” I smile as I slide into the heels.
“You can keep your birth control pills in the bathroom like every other woman does now.” I release the breath I’m holding and laugh.
“Old habits, huh?” I laugh at myself as I reach down and take a fresh packet out, placing the floorboard back in place.
“We’ll fix you.” He kisses me, and I hate myself for lying to him.
“I hope you're hungry. Mom would have been cooking all day for this,” he warns. “I’m gonna have to figure a way to keep my hands off you.” He takes my hand and twirls me around so he can get a good look at the dress I’m wearing.
“I’m sure we can make up for it later.” I toss the good-for-nothing pills that I should never have relied on at the bed and let him drag me out the door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
LUKE
“Ithink they took the news about Matthew’s gun pretty well,” I mention as Erin kicks off her heels and hobbles over to the couch.
“They did,” she agrees, lifting up her feet and flinching like she’s in pain.
“You okay?” I’ve noticed her pulling strange faces all night. I thought she was just feeling awkward around my folks because of everything that's happened between us, but now, I can see she’s in genuine pain.
