Page 35 of Sloth
“You found out yesterday, and you had it confirmed?” he checks, confusing me when I notice the slight twitch his lips make.
“Yeah, I went to one of those private clinics and got a sonogram.” I take the picture from my back pocket and lay it out on the table as evidence.
“Holy fuckin’ hell!” He slams his hand over his mouth and laughs, before charging at me and scooping me up off my feet. My head spins even more when he twirls me around and kisses all the air out of my lungs.
“Luke. Luke. Put me down!” I shriek, completely shocked by the reaction I’m getting
“Oh, shit.” He carefully places me back down on my feet and takes my face in his hands. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” His eyes frantically check me over.
“No, you didn’t hurt me, but we do need to talk.” His excitement is making this even more heartbreaking, and getting a little glimpse at how happy he would be if things were different makes me even more devastated that the baby I’m carrying isn’t his.
“Luke, I’m sorry, but the scan showed that I’m eleven weeks.” My voice cracks as I break it to him, and I slowly watch the spark fade from his eyes as he takes in what that means.
“I see…” He slowly nods his head and tenses his jaw, trying hard to disguise how hurt he is.
“I’m sorry. I only kept it from you for one day, and that's because I wanted to be sure. Luke, I wanted it to be yours.” I burst into tears, and when I feel him scoop me up in his strong arms, it only causes me to sob even louder.
“Hey, come on, don’t get all upset. It’s not good for ya.” He keeps me tight against him as he strokes his hand through my hair. “It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be fine.”
“Howcanit be fine when I’m gonna lose you?” I hear the distress in my voice as I pull away. “I can’t. I…I.”
“Whoever said anything about you losing me?” he questions, shaking his head and smiling. Granted, it’s not as wide as the one he was wearing a few minutes ago, but it’s a smile nonetheless.
“You understand what I’m telling you, don’t you?” I check, taking his arm in my hands and clinging to it just in case I’m imagining all this.
“I understand, Erin,” he assures me, taking his free hand and placing it over my tummy. “I’m gonna be an uncle.” He shrugs. “It’s gonna be a little hard to explain that I’m also gonna be the kid's father, but we’ll figure it out,” he tells me in that calm, soothing tone of his.
“You want that? To be its dad?”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t want anyone else to be. Unless you wanna get Koben back here to make you another offer.” He laughs, and I grab the man by his face and kiss him so hard I choke on my happy tears at the same time.
“No. I don’t want that at all. All I want is you and me.” I look down between us to where his hand is still resting. “Luke, I’ve been so scared,” I admit.
“Scared of what?”
“Losing you; having a baby that's his. I don’t know how I'm gonna love it.” I sit down when the giddy feeling in my head starts to make the room spin
“Now that's the most stupid thing I ever heard.” He kneels down in front of me and takes both my hands. “You are gonna love the hell outta this baby, Erin. You're gonna love it because it’s half yours, and becauseweare gonna raise it to be a beautiful human, just like its mom.” He wipes the tears from my eyes and somehow makes all the doubts inside me vanish. He’s right, of course, I’m gonna love my baby. How could I ever blame a defenceless child for the sins of its father? I was brought into this world by monsters, but I never became one.
“I thought you’d be angry.”
“Angry? This isn’t your fault, Erin. This isn’t your kid’s fault either. But we’re one hundred percent making sure that the next one’s mine.” He raises an eyebrow at me cheekily, and I smack him on the chest and laugh.
“Let’s see how we go with this one first,” I tell him, unable to stop smiling. Of all the ways I imagined this conversation to go, I never expected this.
“You know I’m kidding, right? I’m this baby’s father,” he tells me, stroking his hand over my tummy again and making it flutter with pure joy. “I’m gonna go get dressed, then I’ll headinto town and pick up something from Dolores’ diner.” He kisses me before standing up and heading to his room.
“Luke,” I call after him, and when he turns his handsome face around, I smile. “I love you.”
“Always have, always gonna.” He winks back at me, closing the door behind him, and when I’m alone, I look down at my flat stomach and for the first time since I saw that pink line, I feel excitement.
“And that's gonna be your daddy,” I whisper with a smile on my face so wide, it aches my cheeks.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
LUKE
Iclose the door and fall apart, sliding down the door till I'm sitting on my ass and silently counting to ten in my head, while I breathe in slow, steady breaths. Earlier on, when I found those tests, I was a hundred percent sure that the baby she was carrying would be mine. I couldn’t tell her that I’d found them. If I did, she would know what else I’d found hiding under that floorboard, and I wish I could tell her that she’ll never have to worry about that secret ever again, but I can’t do that either.
