Page 19 of The Change Up
I laugh and take another long drink of the hot deliciousness.
“Okay so since you avoided my questions, I guess it’s safe to assume you are not doing well, but we’ll come back to that. For now let’s solve one problem and figure out what you’re wearing.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know where to start because I don’t know where I’ll need to be to cover this assignment.”
“Just tell Coach Weber what you need. Where do you want to be?”
“In the dugout. I want to get a feel for the game. I want to feel the energy that radiates off the players and buzzes from the field. I want to listen to the guys and watch how Weber coaches.”
Standing from my bed, I watch as Brynn heads to my closet. Girl is on a mission as she slides hanger after hanger searching for a particular item. Too bad Macy doesn’t live here anymore. Having a fashion major in the townhouse made outfit decisions so much easier. “If you’d tell me what you’re looking for, I can help you find it faster.”
She ignores me and continues her search. While she’s looking for whatever it is, I carry my mug across the hall to my bathroom. Brynn is the only one who has an attached bathroom. I used to share a bathroom with Macy, our old roommate. She abruptly moved out, and we ended with an explosive fight. It was a mixture of both of us being wrong and taking things out on each other that never should have happened. Needless to say, our friendship is severely rocky.
The dynamic in our townhouse since Macy moved out and Brynn started dating Quinton is off. It’s weird. I’m beyond happy for my friends, but I miss the days of just being the three of us.
As I set my mug down on the counter, I pull out my toothbrush, toothpaste, and face wash. After I’m done brushing and washing, I rummage through my drawers to gather all my makeup and start my daily process. Fifteen minutes later, I’m making my way back into my room and hoping that Brynn figured out a game plan.
Brynn stands over my light yellow hardshell suitcase as she zips it close. I stare at her wide-eyed because not only did she get me packed in fifteen minutes, but she didn’t even try to get my approval on the clothes she packed. I mean, there’s honestly nothing in my closet that I would be against. Throughout the years, I’ve really homed in on my style, and I’ve been very conservative with each piece I bring into my wardrobe. Whatever Brynn chooses will have to do. Tapping my phone screen, I glance down at the time. And whatever Brynn picked will really have to do because I’ve got to be out of the house and on the bus in forty-five minutes.
“There’s still a variety in here, and you’ll like them all, but there’s no reason to stress about what you wear. Chlo, you are the best-dressed girl on campus. You always dress cute with your flowy dresses and skirts. Own that. Don’t change who you are just because you are covering sports. If you feel like the straps make the dress too revealing, throw on one of your cardigans.”
She stops and makes her way over to me. Reaching up, she grips my shoulders, gaining my entire attention. “Just don’t stop being you, babe. I know this is out of your comfort zone, and we both know how much you hate being out of your happy place, but don’t let this change you. You’re going to fucking crush it.”
Blinking rapidly, I try to keep the moisture from escaping my eyes. Leave it to Brynn to go all hype girl as I try to keep mymakeup from running. She really is the best friend ever. I wish it was possible to get just a small percentage of her boldness.
It’s not that I’m not confident. I carry myself well. I know who I am and what I like. I dress with confidence, especially since my style of clothing isn’t typical. When it comes to clothes, I’m all about dresses and skirts. There’s nothing better to me than having my legs free and not being confined in pants. I mean I obviously wear jeans, shorts, and leggings, but they aren’t my go-to. I’m a girl who loves flowy, feminine, floral pieces. Give me a flared-out dress that hits above my knees, sneakers, and a cardigan or jean jacket, and I’ll rock that look all day every day.
But when it comes to my internal thoughts, yeah, I struggle with being confident. I’ve never been the girl who is chosen first. There’s always someone better. A prettier girl, one who’s easier, one who’s smarter.
In grade school, I wasn’t the girl who was chosen first in gym class. I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t part of a clique of girls, I wasn’t anything special. Instead, I was the girl who walked the halls with eyes and whispers pointed at her, the little girl who just wanted to belong and make friends, but while everyone was playing together, I was sitting alone. I was the little girl labeled the “cooties” girl.
Kids were cruel and instead of being sensitive and comforting, they made fun of me because my mom left. The unlovable little girl who lived in the “dirty” apartments who couldn’t even keep her mom around.
And that’s when I turned to books. Each time I was left out of an activity at school, each time I wasn’t invited to a birthday party, each time a school dance would come around and I wasn’t asked, I turned to the love stories that filled the pages. Books were my escape, and to this day, I would much rather get lost in a book than face reality. But life doesn’t work that way. I keep mybooks close, but I’ve also been trying to work on myself. To gain the confidence that I’ve been lacking for so long.
And Brynn knows my story. She keeps me going when I want to curl in on myself. Her pep talks are her way of reminding me that I’m enough. I’m who I’m meant to be, and I need to stop letting others dictate who I am.
Of course, it’s easier said than done. Especially when the only boy that you’ve ever wanted never gives you the time of day. You’re just the girl who hides in the corner—he doesn’t see me.
Dammit, Chloe. Stop with him.
Pulling Brynn in, I wrap my arms around her giving her a tight hug. “Love you, B.”
“Aw, I love you too,” she pulls away and plants a quick kiss on my cheek. “Now get dressed. I can take you to the complex so you don’t have to catch an Uber.”
“Thanks.” I watch as she leaves before striding over to my closet. I grab a black midi dress with mini yellow flowers printed throughout the entire dress. Removing the hanger, I let my robe fall free and slide the dress over my head. Fluffing my hair out of the back of my dress, I adjust the bubble sleeves that hit at my elbow. This dress is the perfect combination of sweet and casual. It’ll be comfortable on the long bus ride to Louisiana, but still gives the essence that I’m here for business and not to mess around with the team.
Slipping on a pair of white sneakers, I quickly plait my honey-blond hair in a single loose braid. I pop in a pair of white floral stud earrings before I do a final scan of my outfit. Hair and makeup, simple. Dress and shoes, cute and casual. With one last nod, I grab the handle of my suitcase and my brown cross-body.
Phone and charger. Check.
Toiletries. Check.
Clothes packed by me—make that Brynn. Check.
Kindle and AirPods. Check and check.
It’s time to stop procrastinating, Chloe Girl.
