Page 101 of The Pass Protection
A heaviness falls over my lids as exhaustion threatens to take me under. We’ve been at the bar for two hours, but no one has made the move to leave. Instead, we are dancing to the music Brynn has queued up for us from the bar’s TouchTones.
For the first time this school year, everyone is at ease. The stress of tomorrow will wait.
I watch Brynn throw her head back in laughter as her round belly sticks out. She’s thirty-one weeks, and in a few short weeks, life as she knows it will change.
My brother stands among his teammates as they chat among themselves, occasionally jumping in to dance with us girls. He’s soaking up his time with his friends—his brothers—because their season is quickly approaching the end, along with his time at CTU.
Crew glances over every once in a while. His eyes scan my features as a smile plays on his lips. The movement is subtle but reassuring nonetheless. Our time of keeping our relationship a secret is almost over. Even though dread pools in my stomach as the conversation with my brother—since he deemed me off-limits—will no doubt be rocky.
At the end of the day, my big brother only wants what’s best for me, and it’s safe to say that Crew is what is best. His heart is so big, and he loves without question. I’ve witnessed the love he has for his family and his friends. He protects the people he cares about and never takes his time with them for granted. He’s learned the hard way that tomorrow isn’t always promised.
I watch Chloe flail her arms around, doing some crazy dance she saw on social media. I can’t help the bark of laughter that erupts deep inside me. Chloe is the most down-to-earth girl I’ve ever met. She has such a soft and kind heart. I’ve loved getting to know her this semester. Her eyes flick to her boyfriend’s, and I swear the love they share can be felt in the room. That’s how powerful it is.
Brynn groans. “I’ve got to pee again. I swear this little bean enjoys jumping on my bladder.”
“I’ve got to go too!” I shout over the music as I turn on shaky legs. I’ve had more than my fair share of beers tonight. But with a nearly empty bar and my favorite people around me, I figured, why the hell not? Tonight, I’m letting my hair down—figuratively—and enjoying college.
“You okay, Bret?” Brynn intertwines her arm with mine as she leads me to the bathroom.
I tip my head down and rest it on the side of hers. “I’m wonderful.”
“That’s my girl.” Pushing open the door, we are met with a clean but dingy bathroom. There are only two stalls in the women’s room, and I let Chloe and Brynn go first. Standing in front of the sink, I splash cool water on my makeup-free face. I stare at my reflection as the droplets run down my heated skin. My eyes look brighter and more alive. Even tinged pink, the color has come back into my features.
Gone is the scared little girl too afraid to look over her shoulder. The time spent in therapy and working through my struggles has paid off. For the first time in a very long time, I feel happy, energetic, and full of life. The drive to chase my dreams is back.
A buzzing in my pocket pulls my attention away from my self-reflection. Sliding the phone out, I glance at the lit screen, fully expecting to find a flirty text from Crew.
A chill runs down my spine as I read the notification alerting me of a new message from Unknown Number. Swiping a trembling finger across the screen, I unlock the display and face the monster lurking at the edge of consciousness.
Unknown Number: You thought you could run and hide from me, little kitten. I’ll be seeing you soon.
Unknown Number: *photo attached*
The attached photo was taken from the tournament and posted on CTU’s social media channels. There I stand front and center, surrounded by my teammates holding the charity check from tonight’s game. I don’t understand how he found the photo. Does he have some kind of alert set up for my face?
Feeling the ground shift beneath me, I clutch the sink with my hands—one still holding my phone. The room starts to shrink as I’m flooded with memories of how I used to feel with Chad. My vision blurs with unshed tears as I work to keep the rising bile from projecting onto the mirror. The mirror in which I was just admiring how far I’d come. In a matter of one single text, I’m thrust right back into that scared, cowardly girl.
I can almost hear his smooth, charming voice as it spews venom at me. His manipulative words were always his weapon of choice. My hands tremble, the weight of the phone almost burning my hand.
How could I be so stupid to allow myself to be photographed?
How could I be so reckless?
I practically gave him a tracking number, pinging straight to my location.
Blood pumps through my veins as my heart pounds. The beats are coming so aggressively that it feels like it couldbeat out of my chest.
Seconds feel like hours as my brain spirals with all the ways I could have prevented this.
Why did I have to come here? Why didn’t I run farther? I should’ve gone someplace across the country—like Vermont—someplace where I knew no one.
Instead, I practically invited a monster into this incredible group of people. Their family is no longer safe, and it’s all because of me.
Chad has never shown any physical violence. I don’t think he has the balls to hit me, but desperate times lead to desperate measures. For the last four months, I’ve kept him away from hiskitten. What if I only escalated things?
What if he comes after my brother? Or Crew? Oh God, what if he comes after Brynn? I just unleashed a monster and put her precious unborn baby in danger.
A vise wraps around my chest, the pressure building with every passing second. Each breath comes in shallow, rapid succession as if my lungs won’t expand. Heart pounding erratically, in wild frenzied beats, sends shockwaves through my entire body.
