Page 112 of The Pass Protection
“What’s going on?” my dad’s deep voice asks from my doorway.
“Does this mean you’ve finally told them why you transferred?” My brother’s voice startles me. I wasn’t expecting him to be here too.
Mom’s head whips in his direction, nearly knocking me off the bed. “Grant Lucas Campbell, did you know?”
“I found out last week.”
“Found out what?” Dad’s eyes bounce from Grant’s to where Mom and I sit on the bed.
Gripping Dad’s shoulder, Grant nudges his head toward the hallway. “C’mon, let’s go to the living room, and she can fill you in while I share how we are going to put Bret’s fucked-up situation to rest so we can get our girl back.”
Heart warming, my shoulders soften as I gaze across the room at my big brother. Aside from his grumpy exterior, Grant is the biggest teddy bear. I laugh silently, wondering if that’s why I’ve always cared so deeply about my little teddy bear. Maybe deep down, I’ve always associated Grant with a teddy bear and chose my comfort animal to symbolize my brother.
I hope one day he’ll be able to leave his broody shell and find someone to love. He deserves it more than anyone I know.
Three hours later, our stomachs full from cheap, greasy delivery pizza, the four of us sprawl out across the living room couches. Grant laysacross the smaller couch, his feet dangling over the armrest as he scrolls through the channels. I lean against Mom, the two of us sharing a blanket. A new aura surrounds us as fresh light has been shed on our relationship. We can only hope that it continues to grow strong. Dad relaxes in his recliner, which ishis. No one is safe if he finds it occupied when it’s time for him to sit. So possessive. He scrolls through his phone, typing away. A coach’s job is never over.
After mindlessly scrolling for what feels like hours, Grant finally selects a movie. A soft melody fills the room as headlights appear on the screen. The car drives down a foggy road before transitioning into sunrise over miles of cornfields.Hoosiersis a family classic in our home, filled with nostalgic memories of Sunday evenings huddled around like we are tonight. Bowls of popcorn rested on our laps as Dad taught us the game of basketball.
As we wait for the actual movie to start, I can’t help but chortle at the memory that pops into my head. Grant turns his head and quirks a brow at me, no doubt questioning if I’ve lost it. “Grant, do you remember that time we were walking through the fields with Dad in Indiana, and you lost your shit when that bug landed on your finger?”
A booming laugh flies from Dad’s mouth as he sits in his chair. Grant, on the other hand, sits there shaking his head. “I was six and terrified of my own damn shadow.”
“Which makes it even funnier.” My shoulders shake uncontrollably as tears run down my face as the laughter consumes me. It feels great to be laughing like this after this past week. “You took off screaming in such a fit. When you finally calmed down, Dad asked you if it was a bug with a white wing and then convinced you your finger would fall off.”
Dad’s laughing so hard he’s snorting while Mom’s shoulders shake so violently I’m afraid they’ll pop out of her sockets. I clutched my stomach, my abs burned like I’d done a hundred crunches.
“Assholes.” Grant points to each of us. “Every last one of you.”
A night in with my family was what I needed. As difficult as it was to share with them my troubles, I feel relieved to know I no longer have to hide anything from them.
When Grant filled my parents in on punching Crew and the whole debacle of everything leading up to the second half of the conference championship game, Dad was disappointed in Grant’s behavior. While he appreciated Grant sticking up for me, he didn’t appreciate how he went about it.
Mom and I talked about my relationship with Crew. It was the first time the two of us had sat and really talked about a boy I liked, or in this case, loved. With eyes full of warmth, Mom shared some of her journey with Dad. It wasn’t as black and white as I had always assumed. But it’s what she told me that has stuck with me.
“You deserve to be loved, Bret, with all your fears and insecurities. Don’t let those fears stop you from embracing something that could bring you so much joy. It feels scary to give your heart over to someone to trust, protect, and nourish. I’m telling you it’s okay to feel fear. You’re not alone in life, my beautiful girl. Leap, honey, because when you do, you’ll see how worthwhile it truly is.”
I’m ready to take the leap and fall headfirst into the unknown with Crew Riggsby by my side. But first, I need to put an end to my past.
Days run together as I spend my time floating through the motions—wake up, go to practice, come home, and sulk. Everything feels off without Rebel. Colors are dull, food is bland, and life is boring. Bret’s smile lit up the sky and made life brighter. Every day feels like I’m navigating through quicksand, hoping that each step won’t be the one to pull me under.
I’m stuck in an endless spiral of wondering if, by leaving a note, she was breaking up with me or needed space. What in the Ross and Rachel “we were on a break” hell am I living in?
Gray skies greet me as I leave this morning’s practice. The drab color matches the emptiness I feel inside. A steady shower falls from the sky, and I let the rain fall over me as I leisurely walk to my truck. Halfway there, a voice calls out behind me.
“Riggs!” Glancing over my shoulder, Grant jogs toward me. Things have started returning to normal since our little heart-to-heart a couple of weeks ago. Dread creeps in the closer Grant comes.
No words are said as I stare at him or through him. It’s really anyone’s guess where my mind is. “She’s at the rec center.”
“What?”
“Bret’s at the rec center. She was planning on being there for a few hours today.”
I’m confused about why he’s telling me this. Is he giving me his blessing to chase after his sister? Does she even want me there? With a terse nod, I turn on my heels, leaving him confused.
“She misses you, Crew.”
Slamming my door shut, I sit silently as I try to process his words. If she missed me, then why is she ignoring me? Why did she run? And why won’t she come home if she misses me so much?
