Page 102 of The Pass Protection
“Bret! Bret!” Brynn’s panicked voice barely slips past my pounding pulse. Chloe reaches out, and I can feel her delicate fingers as she tries to get my attention. My head lolls, and my vision rolls as I fight to focus on the girls. With icy fingers, the anxiety grips my heart, sending cold, numbing fear outward.
“Crew.” His name comes out in a nearly silent, raspy voice.
“What, honey?”
“Crew,” I say between pants. “I need Crew.”
Brynn turns and rushes out of the bathroom as Chloe stands beside me. Her mouth moves, but I can’t make out anything she’s saying. The pulse throbbing in my temples blocks out all the noise around me. Theweight in my chest grows heavier as if someone is stacking boulders on my lungs. The suffocating feeling consumes me.
Black dots fill my vision as the edges begin to blur, darkening with each fight for air. Every breath feels like a struggle, and my lungs cannot get enough air from the shallow breaths. The anxiety courses through my veins in sharp points, sending ice along its path as my body shakes with fear.
I try to focus on the breathing techniques my therapist taught me, trying to get my body to relax, but it’s easier said than done.
I try to ground myself in the present with each breath, but nothing works. I am stuck, sinking, drowning in fear. The pounding of my heart and the weight in my chest are constant reminders of the terror that lurks in the shadows, waiting to pounce.
“You guys ready for the season?” Grant leans against the bar, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers.
Out of all of us guys, he’s the most responsible. He’s the dad of our group, always making sure we are on our best behavior at bars and parties, keeping our heads focused on classes, and never letting the outside world infiltrate our team dynamics. But as the night goes on, I can’t help noticing how heavily he’s been drinking. I know tonight is a night to celebrate and our feelings are still raw from the loss this weekend, but he’s tying one on.
“Fuck yeah, we are,” Ty, Cody’s roommate and teammate, answers. “The talent we lost last year was replaced with even better players.”
“It should be another good season.” Cody’s eyes never leave the dance floor where his girlfriend dances with Brynn and Bret. The girls are in their bubble, and none of them has a care in the world as they move their bodies to the beat of the music.
“Hopefully, you have better luck than we did,” Harris grumbles.
The chip on his shoulder might as well be a bag—party-sized. I can’t say I blame him. The media has been blaming him for our loss which is absolute bullshit. He didn’t throw the ball wide or too high. The defender merely got lucky by getting his fingertips on the ball. Not one play or person should be held responsible for our loss. It was a cumulative effort to piss away that lead.
Leaning against the bar, I nurse the beer I’ve been holding for a while as my teammates and friends continue their conversation. My body has been wound tight since we arrived at the gym. Something about watching Bret weave her way through defenders as she pulls up for jump shots with so much finesse does things to me. Seeing her in her element, so carefree, has me itching to praise her.
I can’t wait to get her home. To devour her. To worship her sculpted body that she spends hours at the gym perfecting.
Chloe sidles up in front of Bret as she grabs her hips. The two dance in a seductive rhythm, which causes Brynn to laugh so hard that she’s clutching her baby bump. An easy friendship has formed between them, and I’m happy to see Bret at such ease. There was no doubt in my mind she’d fit in with the girls, that’s just Bret’s personality, but to witness the camaraderie, the inside jokes, and the love between the girls has me rubbing my chest.
A few songs pass by as the girls leave the dance floor for the bathroom. I’ll never understand a girl’s need to pee with a group. My attention comes back to the group of guys who are discussing the girl JP is hooking up with—the same girl who didn’t disclose she had a boyfriend and almost caused a fight in the middle of the dining hall.
All of the noise in the bar fades away as my eyes land on a distressed Brynn moving as fast as her pregnant body will allow. Panic covers her face as all of our heads whip in her direction. Cody stands taller, alerted by her evident distress, his instinct to protect her apparent, as we watch her eyes widen with fear.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is husky. “Brynn, is it the baby?”
With a terse shake, she looks in my direction, which is also near half of the guys, including Grant. Tears well in her bright blue eyes, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand. Brynn’s not a crier.She doesn’t wear her emotions on her sleeve, but right now, all of her cards are showing. Pain. Fear. Panic. “She needs you.”
Cody cups her face as he tries to get her to calm down. “Who needs us? Is it Chloe? The baby?”
Her head shakes as she sucks in a lungful of air. “It’s Bret. She needs you.”
Grant starts to move, but Brynn places a hard hand on his chest, stopping him. Her eyes flick to mine, and I see the war battling in her eyes. It’s at that moment that I know she knows. Hell, she’s been suspicious this whole time, and she’s afraid to out us. “Crew, she needs you.”
Puffing out his chest, Grant turns to me. With his hands fisted at his sides, I see the anger radiating from him in waves. The suspicion he’s been cautious of is coming to light. “Why thefuckdoesmysister needyou?”
“Listen, man…” Heads whip in my direction as I just admitted to there being more between Bret and me. Two words. Two words that have our entire world crashing down. A secret we’ve worked so hard to keep was exposed in a matter of seconds.
“We don’t have time for this.” Brynn grabs my hand and pulls me behind her. Taking off in a jog, I can feel the turmoil brewing behind me like a Midwestern storm on a hot summer day as pressure systems crash against each other.
Pushing through the door, I hear Brynn outside the door fighting with Grant. One thing about Brynn is that she will stop at nothing to protect the people she loves. I can’t focus on what’s going on behind me because panic seizes my ribcage, crushing my lungs as all of the air is expelled as I take in the sight in front of me.
Bret’s chest heaves violently as I watch her fight for air. Her breaths come in rapid, shallow gasps, each one more desperate than the last, asif she were drowning on dry land. Her hands cling to her shirt in tight fists as her body trembles. The color she had been getting back on her face is completely drained, leaving her looking like a pale ghost.
Erasing the space between us, my heart lurches to comfort her shattered soul. “Rebel, baby, I’m here. Fuck, baby, look at me.”
