Page 29 of Morena
Paco slammed his fist against the wall once more, then left and closed the door behind him.
They had to know what had happened. They must.
I stood at the top of the stairs. Warm hands settled on my shoulders for a second, but I could not see who it was. Then a sudden shove sent me stumbling, and I tumbled down the stairs. My head struck the floor.
Ringing filled my ears while footsteps approached. All I could see was my own blood and a pair of black boots. And myeyes closed shut.
May 24, 1996.
I was twelve. I was born and raised in the Samaná region, which that same year became Las Terrenas. My mother raised me alone. I never had a father, not the one I knew anyway. We lived in a small rented house near the villas where she worked as a housekeeper. And me, a boy who had never had anything, fell for a girl who had everything.
She was eleven then, and she wanted to see the cave. I had nothing to give her, so I wanted to make that one wish come true. Now I wish I had never done it.
We were kids playing at love, running, and spinning. I remember her golden curls. She was different from anyone I knew, and her smile made me feel like a better person. We ran until we reached the cave. She wanted to play a game where I chased her and tried to catch her. We didn’t see the water inside the cave.
Mama had warned me about it. She warned about something in the water that, once it had you, it would pull you down. Maybe it was the grass, maybe something else. But she told me, once you fall, you will never be found.
Her name was Gabriella, my first love.
Just before she reached for my hand, I watched her fall into the water. I didn’t jump after her. I stood above and watched her drown, watched her sink as if something had taken her.
They never found her. They never will. They blamed me and my mother. The owner of one of the villas had my mama locked up. I never saw her again. My7abueloput me on a plane to Barcelona and told me never to come back home. Here, I had no one but family friends who turned out not to want me at all.
So I became nobody, wanting to be drowned like Gabriella. At the beginning, I had nightmares. Then I began to forget a little, but she still haunted me. Morena knew it because that swamp with the crows was one of my worst fears: seeing Gabriella drown again, surrounded by crows, and having them tear out my eyes so I would never be able to see her again.
I promised myself I would never love. I promised myself I would never be happy because she could never be happy. I felt guilty, and I was guilty, and she knew it.
She made me see it on purpose. She broke me.
Then the memory stopped, and I was back on the beach where I had first seen her. She lay in the sand with the sea lapping her legs. She watched me as I approached. I lay down beside her and asked, “Is this how I die?”
She did not say anything. She only looked at the horizon and said,8“La muerte es apenas el inicio.”
1. idiot
2. Prove me wrong
3. Another time
4. crazy
5. brother
6. We are family, Carlos. Do you understand? Family.
7. Grandfather
8. Death is only the beginning.
IX.
Iwokewithasharp gasp, lungs straining for air. Something soft supported me, and sunlight pressed hot against my face. I squinted, trying to focus, trying to understand where I was.
A voice reached me through the haze, pulling me upward. A hand shook me gently.
“Matteo, Matteo.”
It was Maria. She sat beside me with a first aid kit open at her side.
