Page 47 of Heartless Heathens
“I-I don’t know,” I confessed, fumbling with my fingers nervously. “It’s wrong.”
“Why is it wrong? Becausehetold you so?” He emphasized the ‘he’ letting me know exactly who he was referring to.
“It’s sinful,” I told him.
“That’s a made-up word,” he said, attempting to shatter my version of the truth. “Frollo decides how he wants the people out there to behave because it’s what he’s been brainwashed to believe by the ones who came before him. He thinks his version of Heaven is the versionweall want. Let me strike the first match to burn his version of the world for you, Pet. Because yourFathersure as shit doesn’t abide by the rules he himself has imposed on us all.” His emotions rising the more we spoke of Father Frollo.
“I-I don’t understand,” I said, unsure of how I was supposed to feel about this revelation.
“It’s all lies,” he said, getting off of me shoving his hands in his underwear to adjust himself. “If his Heaven is real, I’d rather burn.”
My eyes trailed down, unable to avoid staring at the large bulge in his pants.
“Frollo jacks himself off with the same hand he dishes out communion. He’s not holy and he’s sure as hell not above any of us. You included, Pet,” he said, lifting my chin up to look at him.
“But, he’s God’s messenger,” I said, the confusion still clearly painted on my face.
“Ha!” he cackled out. “God is dead darling. This has long been Satan’s playground.” He slipped on a black shirt and began to button it up before slowly folding the sleeves up with care around his forearms.
What he called the Sauron’s eye that was painted onto his throat made his jawline look even sharper than it already was. That, combined with the way he buttoned his shirt all the way up to the collar was doing something to me that I couldn’t understand or put into words. I breathed out noisily and he arched his eyebrow, raising the word ‘Son of Satan’ with it.
“You believe in the Devil?” I asked him and he smiled enough to show teeth.
It was an odd thing to see on his face and it made the hairs on my arms stand.
I’m not sure I enjoyed it.
“It wouldn’t matter. You think Satan cares whether or not you believe in him? He’d rather you believe in yourself.”
“Why?” I asked again, trying to define something I couldn’t put in words.
“Because if you believe in yourself, you’d never believe in God.” He started, “I don’t believe in good or evil. I believe in chaos. I believe in disorder and letting it run wild within your soul. I believe surrendering to the worst parts inside of us is the only way one can truly know themselves. I believe that forcing people into a corrupt belief system that only serves to empower the rich and oppress those who most need help is the only form of evil I’ve ever truly witnessed.” For someone who presented as so dispassionate it seemed I’d finally figured out what Sonny cared about most.
“You see God as the villain?” I asked him.
“I can’t make it any more clear. God is an illusion,” he said flatly.
“Then what does that make the Devil?” I asked again, trying to figure out how the pieces all fit together.
“A pawn, used to control the weak minded. Something to scare them into submission,” he clarified.
“So you don’t believe in some horned abomination who will claim your soul?” Everything that I thought I knew was crashing down with the deluge of his words. I needed to hold onto something concrete before I began to spiral down an uncertain trajectory.
“Oh my sweet little pet, make no mistake, Iamthat abomination,” he said, reaching out to caress my face. “And it isyoursoul I will devour.” His thumb brushed down on my lip, roughly dragging it down before pulling his hand back.
Itwasdamnnearten in the morning, and they still hadn’t left Sonny’s bedroom. I was starting to get impatient and considering the idea of just barging in there and telling him his time with her was up.
Were we taking turns?
There was an unrelenting pounding out front, and I rolled my eyes at the flash of sandy blonde hair that floated opposite the window next to the door. She was one of those that was going to be hard to get rid of, I could already tell. She had the stars in her eyes for us, and not in the same way that most chicks did.
This one thought we werealike, that we could befriends.We probably could have been, if I had been looking for any. But the truth was the three of us had been a triangle we’d sewn shut a long time ago. We didn’t make room for anyone to pry their way in and kick over what we’d spent our entire lives building.
Or hell, maybe I was misreading the whole thing and she was just using us to find out more about our belltower ghost she seemed so damn interested in.
“I can literally see you,” she shouted through the window and I rolled my eyes with a groan before getting up from the couch to open the door.
“Sonny doesn’t like surprises,” I told her, letting her know her visit would be unwelcome.
