Page 52 of Heartless Heathens
I had enough to deal with and it was bad enough having Sonny hounding me day and night about my episodes. I lied to my doctors and my psychiatrist. They wouldn’t have let me come here if I had told them the truth about me blacking out again.
I couldn’t leave Felix to fend for himself. The reality was, the three of us were so entwined in each other’s bullshit I couldn’t remember a time where we’d been apart longer than a week.
Except for when he threw me in that psych ward for a study.
It had always been the three of us.
So, I lied to them, told them it was getting better. Told Sonny it wasn’t getting worse.
I wasn’t going to get left behind. That was for fucking sure. I couldn’t live without those assholes.
Not an exaggeration.
“Is this your first year?” I asked her.
“I’m actually a senior. I’ll be heading to dental school next fall if I can convince the church that I’m dedicated to God,” she said, mocking a blowjob gesture.
At graduation she’d have to prove her case to a board. Half would be clergymen from the church, the other half were rich millionaires who funded the graduate programs for these types of professionals.
It was nearly impossible to be selected if you weren’t already born into a formally educated family. The wheel kept spinning, and the poor lived under the desperate delusion that they could break free from it.
It was futile. They always ended up abused by the system instead.
Reesa went on asking pointless questions and I drowned out her voice until it became nothing but incoherent warbling in the back of my mind. Romina answered with a quiet yes or no whenever she deemed appropriate but she continued her meek act and stared down as she walked. I looked back and eyed the two of them, an air of discomfort between them that the blonde girl seemed to be unphased by, while she prodded and poked in an attempt to reveal private and intimate details about the girl’s life and history.
“So just up there all alone for eighteen years?” she asked with amazement and Romina nodded silently.
I grabbed Romina by the wrist and pulled her to walk in front of me, pressing my hand to her back and urging her to walk faster.
“Are you sure you need to come?” I asked Reesa, not bothering to hide my contempt for her personality type.
“Um, this whole thing was my idea,” she said and rushed to follow when we picked up our pace in front of her.
“That doesn’t mean you need to come,” I said dryly and Romina laughed before my eyes drifted over to her.
She cut her laughter short, and I narrowed my eyes her way.
I wasn’t the one she should be afraid of.
She stared too long at my face, and I knew she was eyeing the ink above my eyebrow.
Memento Mori.
Remember to die, remember death, remember we all die. Two words that kept humanity in a false imprisonment. They didn’t realize death was a gift. The end to all their torment and suffering.
Every asshole on campus had a car in this parking lot and mine was hidden somewhere in the clusterfuck. I hit the button on my key fob to sound out the alarm on the car and Romina jumped backwards hitting my chest.
“Jumpy little lamb, aren’t you?” I asked, my lip curling into a half smile and her eyes widened before she nervously nodded at me. “Get in,” I instructed her, gesturing over to the car before I hit the unlock button.
She stood in front of the door like she wasn’t sure what to do with it. I really wanted to applaud the whole commitment to this ‘Frollo’s captive’ role she was trying to sell, but it was too forced to stick. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the door handle, making a dramatic show of how easy it was to open the door while she looked inside nervously.
“Get in,” I repeated.
She hesitated, but Reesa climbed through the backdoor so eagerly that she had no choice but to follow suit into the passenger seat. I shut the door before making my way over to the driver side and the exhaling my annoyance at the dumb look on her face while she stared out the front. I leaned into her, taking in an intoxicating scent of vanilla and honey from her hair before pulling the seat belt over her chest and clipping her in.
She let out a squeak.
I chuckled and started the engine.
