Page 17 of Empire of Carnage
Santos could barely stand straight. His entire upper body was draped in markings of all textures, shapes, and sizes and for this very reason he was now wearing a long sleeve turtleneck in ninety degree weather.
We were coming apart at the seams, just as we were figuring out how to become whole.
“Fucking finally. Carajo,” César shouted from the bottom of the hole.
The sound of the shovel hitting metal over and over again rang out until finally the two of them were able to get it loosened from the soil. The box was big enough to hold a body, though I wasn’t sure if it said more about me or them that it was my go-to measuring format. There was at least a sixty percent chance there was a body in there.
“Put it in the car so we can get the fuck out of here. Let’s go home,” Celia said.
Her face changed when she said home.
“You don’t want to open it now, jefa?” César asked.
“It doesn’t matter. Now, later—I already know what’s inside.” She shrugged, walking back to the car.
9
Celia
Idon’t know why I called it home. Statistically speaking I lived less of my life in the Guadalajara villa than I did in Ocean Valley, but that sure as fuck wasn’t home. I was feeling a million ways out of sorts. Coming back to the land that made me caused a magnitude of feelings that couldn’t be described. Feelings of knowing, in my heart of hearts, that la patria was the center of who I truly was at my core.
The urge to sink my roots down into the soil to reconnect was immense.
And then came the shattering feeling of inadequacy. I was an imposter. A pretender, and they would all see it. Not damn near Mexican enough. They would all know just by looking at me. Would they hear it in my voice too? I tilted my chin up to force the tears to be reabsorbed into my eyes. I was fed up with letting them fall.
“Wait, we should open it first.” Mateo said.
“Whatever’s inside will still be there when we get to the villa. I’ve had enough of my family’s secrets for one day.” I tried helping him lift the chest into the car with little success, finally allowing the boys to tag in for this one.
I looked over to César as he shut the trunk. “What’s that little favor gonna cost me?” He knew I was referring to him burning his documents, I didn’t have to specify.
“I didn’t do it for you, reina. I did it for me. When Rafa died, I feltrelieved. I was a shit brother because I wanted my freedom so bad that it didn’t matter what it would cost me. I don’t care what some stupid piece of paper says, you’re my sister. The throne was always yours. I have everything I want in Grimm’s Reach. I just want to be free to go home when this is all over.” I swung my arms over his neck and squeezed him tight.
He lifted me off the ground into his embrace and it was the first time in fifteen years I felt the loss of my papá as sharply as the first. Cousin, brother, it didn’t fucking matter. He was the only family I had left willing to go to bat for me. And we were going up against our own blood.
“You’re supposed to be my number two though.”
“You don’t need me for a number two guy, you’ve got three of them.” He gestured over to my men, standing back and letting us have our moment.
Maybe he wasn’t wrong about that.
The question was, did they want to be?
The drive back was filled with silence, so many what ifs and what nows still unspoken as we followed what seemed to be the path that was laid out for me. Or maybe I was still fucking delusional and leading us to our deaths.
There was a strange familiarity in going back to your childhood home. The only bad memory I had of this place was of my last night here. The air felt thicker as we drove through the gates and past the gardens. A row of cars followed behind us into the Flores property and I turned my head nervously before Ronan reassured me.
“They’re Crows and Diablos.”
“They were waiting for us?” I asked, scrunching my face together.
“César told everyone you were supposed to be the first person to walk inside,” Mateo explained from the front.
Great. No fucking pressure or anything. Not momentous at all.
They all stood outside, some a hundred and fifty men, while I walked through the villa doors. There were plenty of bedrooms and accommodations here for all of them until we went to war. Between this and the guest house there were at least fifty rooms and most of them had multiple beds.
“Now what?” Calaveras’ gravelly voice rang high over my head.
