Page 39 of Empire of Carnage
“I think it’s supposed to be me that gives you everything,” I told her.
“Why? Because you’re a man and I’m a weak little woman who can’t provide for you? Surprise Mateo, I have more money than I’ll ever be able to spend in this lifetime, and the next five lifetimes. Let me take care of us.” She was all sincerity, even her sharp edges had softened somehow.
It filled me up with a sense of pride that I could get this side of her when no one else could.
I smiled, making her frown. “That’s not it at all, Celia,” I said, rubbing my hands up and down her bare arms.
She rarely wore sleeves down here, and I was a fan of how easy it was to feel her flesh under mine.
“You think I feel emasculated by the thought of you giving me things?” I scoffed, alarming her with my reaction. “Sunshine, I’d lick the dirt off your feet if it were the only meal you’d allow me to have, and I’d still say thank you. There is absolutely nothing that I or you could do that would make me feel like less of a man because, at the end of the day, I got you. But I’m still allowed to want to give you everything you deserve.”
She reached her hand up and cupped my face. “You’ve already given me everything I deserve.”
I shook my head at her.
“We’ve done nothing but cause you pain. I worry once the shock of everything fades, you’ll snap back to reality and catch on to what a huge mistake all of this was. You’ll pick Ronan once and for all and tell the rest of us to fuck off.” I hadn’t meant to blurt it out, I hadn’t meant to be so honest, but every time she said shit like that it just felt like a lie.
Waste of space. My mother’s words still rang out loudly in my mind.
“I wish you saw yourself as clearly as I see you.” She shook her head, moving her hands to my chest where she flattened her palms against me. “You ever wonder if this pain is maybe part of what I deserve as well? I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life, there’s only so many protection candles a bitch can light. Santa Muerte’s waiting for me too, you know?”
“Don’t fucking say that shit, because I’ll fight her to keep you with me,” I gritted out, pulling her against me tight.
“You can’t fight Death, mi amor. She comes for us all.” She caressed her skin against mine, but I gripped her wrist in my hand and kept it from moving.
“Stop it,” I told her, not fighting the anger bubbling in my chest.
“Then don’t say stupid things about me choosing Ronan.” She frowned, but even without her smile she was so fucking stunning I had to remind myself to breathe.
“Can you blame a guy for being insecure? You’ve known him practically your whole life. And Santos has a fifteen year head start on me. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even around.”
“Really?” she asked, sounding surprised. “You’re the fucking glue Mateo. You keep us all together. Our family, it wouldn’t feel right without you. I wouldn’t feel right without you,” she told me with a sobering expression on her face.
“And why’s that sunshine?” I asked.
“Because you showed me that love doesn’t have to be painful.” She leaned close and pressed her lips against mine.
I groaned, throwing my head back.
“Don’t do this to me. I can’t keep calling those fuckers every time I wanna hear you scream just because they decided to leave.” I whined and she smiled.
“Technically, you should have gone too but I agreed to keep you.”
“Wait…” I pieced together all the fucking clues. “Am I the fucking goldendoodle?” I asked her, and she choked out a laugh.
“Leave me out of this.” She pressed her lips against mine once again, but I pulled her back by the shoulders.
“Sunshine,” I warned her, and she pulled her lips between her teeth and bit them like she was holding back a smile.
“How about we do something that doesn’t involve the others?”
Her hands traveled down to my dick and her small hands gripped firmly around the fabric of my pants. Just the light touch of her fingers forced my cock to awaken under her control.
I groaned again and she lowered down to her knees.
This was shaky territory.
“Celia,” I warned as she pulled me from my pants, already hard and precum glistening at the tip of my cock.
