Page 16 of The Guy Sure Looks Like Plant Food To Me
“At first I thought I’d drag you home by the hair, kicking and screaming while I delivered you to your dad like a present. I daydreamed the entire drive here about how he’d thank me, what he’d offer in exchange for my willingness to still put up with you and this little …” He looks at Runa for only a split second, “Interruption of our plans.”
“I’m not going.” I declare, crossing my arms over my chest. “You might as well kill me if you want to take me home, I’m staying.”
He laughs, a condescending type that unnerves me to the bone. “Yeah, you can stay here.” His eyes haven’t managed to look my way once yet, for the most part they’ve been locked in one direction only.
Chewie’s.
The plant whines, like she feels the anxious energy and can’t help but be affected by it.
“Then what do you want?” Runa’s voice takes a more assertive tone, her fists balling at her side.
“I want the alien you’re trying to hide behind you. The same one you were trying to cover up with that blanket the other night.” He laughs, “I figured it was drugs or something illegal but …”
“Alien?” I whisper, confused.
He shakes his head, amusement still clear on his face as he pulls his phone out. “Now I get to be the guy who brought in an ET. Your dad and I are gonna be getting the highest clearance at Area 51. Hell, maybe I’ll bypass him altogether and go directly to the President with this thing.”
I’m so disoriented from his dumb conclusion that I don’t have the appropriate response, Runa bursts out in a fit of laughter, no longer caring to present as intimidating.
“Alien?” She cackles, “You fucking idiot, that’s a plant.”
“Nice try.” His chuckle is insulting to our intelligence, he approaches confidently, unafraid of either of us. “Now, the question is, do I want to call in the cavalry for transport, or do this quietly?” Williams lifts up the phone like he’s gonna take a picture but I lunge, reaching for it and slapping it down to the ground.
Rage burns from his eyes, his features twisting, as the vein on his forehead threatens to explode. He shoves me with a powerful push, my back colliding against the wooden exterior of the cabin.
I scream, pain throbbing through my body, Runa’s grunts of struggle the only thing that forces my eyes to stay open and fight. He will not take everything from us. I’m able to come to a stand but just then Runa is pushed onto me. I catch her before she can fall to the ground, but by the time we’ve recovered Williams is already in front of the plant. I move to stop him but Runa grips my arm, showing me the shattered phone in her hand.
Chewie makes a warning sound that reminds me of a rattlesnake’s tail, the minute Williams’ lifts to touch a leaf, the trap opens with a hiss. Still, he moves closer, nothing but wonder in his eyes as he reaches for the carnivorous plant. “Where did you come from?” He asks incredulously.
The trap begins to tilt, it shifts from pointing toward the sky until the opening is but inches from Williams’ face. He stands there stupefied, frozen from shock and possibly fear as Chewbacca’s rumbling grows from a low hum to a full on growl.
We watch in silence, the anticipation is nerve-wracking, but it can only be comparable to watching a child fall into the gorilla enclosure. A moronic, ugly child you don’t care about, and a gorilla with teeth bigger than hands who has a hunger for livemeat. Runa’s grip on me softens, her hand moving down from my wrist, fingers interlacing with mine.
A crow caws in the distance, both our heads whipping in the direction for a single split second. It’s then that Williams’ scream fills the forest, a blood-curdling sound that loses itself in the trees, but pulls our attention back to him. His hand is gone, Chewie’s crunching loud and obnoxious as she works to digest the snack unbothered.
He shrieks, collapsing to the ground and flopping like a fish out of water trying to survive. Blood sprays and spatters, almost obnoxiously, something like a high-budget Quentin Tarantino film, and all I can wonder is if he’ll stop screaming before it fully drains out of him.
“She doesn’t like men.” Runa shakes her head slowly, stepping toward Williams like the warning was held on the tip of her tongue the entire time.
“You fucking bitch!” He wails, swinging his nubby bloody stump as he kicks out with his legs.
But every movement of his becomes weaker the more blood he loses, his strength dwindling down as he reserves it for his one remaining hand to try to contain the bleeding.
It’s then that I realize he is dying.
Because of me.
I take a deep inhale, wondering if with the exhale will come the feeling of guilt.
But it never happens.
And that’s quite alright.
9
RUNA
Istep toward the pathetic whimpering man, hoping to at least get some answers before he bleeds out. “Does anyone else know where you are?”
