Page 39 of Her Arranged Alpha
"Hey," Maddox looked at me. "Can you stand?"
I nodded as he placed my feet onto the ground. He looked at me softly, and for the first time, I think he looked at me with understanding.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah… I'll be okay. I just was reliving it all."
Maddox's eyebrows knitted together. "Reliving what?"
I swallowed. "My possession."
Chapter 13 - Maddox
I hated seeing Jillian like this. She was as white as a ghost, and she was still shaking. I didn't know what she was thinking, but I could see that it terrified her.
"What do you mean by your possession?" I asked.
Jillian shook her head, and I reached out, grabbing her face. I looked deep into her eyes. "Jillian, tell me."
"Why?" she whispered, looking broken. "You won't believe me anyway…you said I was lying about it. That I wanted to hurt Frank and Nina."
I felt it click into place. Jillian has been telling the truth. And I didn't believe her.
I suddenly realized that I had thought I was looking at a liar, that I was married to someone who held so many cards, knew how to fool everyone, when in truth, Jillian was far from that. She was fragile and confused. She had suffered something that none of us would understand, and she'd done it alone.
"I believe you," I whispered, cupping her face. "Tell me…please."
I wanted to know the details. At least, I wanted to know a little bit as long as she was willing to share. I wanted to know what happened and what she was feeling. I could see she was thinking about it. She was back there, wherever she was before, and I wanted to help. I wanted to make it better.
I hoisted her up and carried her up the stairs. She leaned against me, her fingers wrapping around my shirt.
"I was in darkness for most of it. A voice kept talking. Saying I was worthless. That I was just a pawn in a larger picture."
Her fingers tightened on my shirt. "And then suddenly I was watching. I could feel that my hands were hurting Frank. That they were hurting Nina. I was doing it, but I had no control over it. I was like a puppet having my strings pulled."
I walked into her room and headed for her bed. I sat down on it, holding her tightly against me.
"I wish I could forget it. I hate that I did it. I hate that what people say is true. I did it. I did hurt Frank. I hurt Nina. I might not have been in control, but it was my hands that did this."
I took her hands, squeezing them in mine. "Your hands are clean. You did not hurt them."
"But I did," she whispered back. "It was my body."
"But you weren't there."
I reached back up, cupping her face. "You didn't do that, Jillian. You have to understand that."
I moved some of her hair back, looking deep in her eyes, unable to imagine the amount of pressure she had to be feeling. How alone she must have felt in that moment. I thought of how the Council had her locked up and how Katie had to torment her for information. I hated knowing that she had been innocent but treated like she was a criminal.
"I'm sorry," I said, rubbing my thumb over her cheek. "But you're not alone now. I'm here and I'm never going to let that happen again."
"You can't promise that."
"I'll try my damn hardest." I moved my thumb closer to her lip. "And I'm not going to let anyone treat you like you're anything less than amazing."
Her eyes dropped lower, landing on my lips. I stared at hers, feeling a shift in the air. I leaned closer and softly kissed her. It was gentle, just a brush against hers. But that wasn't enough. I wanted so much more.
I moved my hand, cupping the back of her neck, pulling her closer. I deepened the kiss, needing to breathe her in. I needed to taste her. I needed to know how her tongue felt against mine and how her breath hitched when I did.
