Page 123 of Healed in the Alpha's Embrace
Elaine shook her head. “George’s actions are his own. You are not responsible for the choices he makes or the harm he causes.”
I took a shaky breath. “My sister and Noah both asked me if I thought Ro was responsible for George kidnapping him, for George shooting Noah.” I shook my head, my heart aching at the memory. “I know Ro isn’t to blame, just like I know deep down that I’m not really at fault. But George spent the last five years constantly telling me everything that went wrong was because of me. It’s hard to separate those two versions of myself—the one who believes him, and the one who knows better.”
Elaine nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Zoey, what you’re experiencing is a common trauma response. George created an atmosphere of uncertainty by constantly shifting the blame onto you and keeping you guessing about his reactions. You never knew if he would lash out, either physically or emotionally, or show kindness. That unpredictability has left you in a state of hypervigilance, always on edge and quick to blame yourself.”
She reached out and touched my hand. “It’s not something that will go away overnight, but with time and work, I believe you can overcome this. Whenever you feel those thoughts creeping in, I want you to repeat these affirmations to yourself: ‘I am worthy of love and compassion. I am not responsible for everything that happens.’”
“I am worthy of love and compassion,” I murmured. “I am not responsible for everything that happens.”
Elaine smiled. “That’s a good start. Remember, healing is a journey, and you’ve already taken the first steps. Be patient with yourself and trust in your own strength. You’ve survived so much already, Zoey. You have the power to reclaim your life and your happiness.”
The driveback to Heather’s house passed in a blur, so much faster than before. My mind raced from my session with Elaine, a strange mix of excitement and trepidation churning in my gut. She’d told me nothing I hadn’t already known, that others hadn’t already told me. Why did hearing a professional say it mean so much?
I parked in the driveway, then simply sat there, hands gripping the steering wheel, my breath coming in measured counts. I could do this. I had to do this.
The sun was warm on my face, and a gentle breeze tousled my hair as I got out of the car. Each step toward the front door was lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I’d escaped George physically, but I’d still been his prisoner, the pain and blame he’d ingrained in me for so long keeping me trapped.
As I pushed open the door, the familiar scent of home enveloped me. Heather and Sam sat at the kitchen table, their heads bent together in conversation. They looked up as I entered.
“Hey, Zoey.” Sam’s brow furrowed. “Is everything okay? You seem... different.”
I managed a small smile as I slid into a chair at the table. “Where’s Ro?”
“Upstairs in his room,” Sam replied, still searching my face.
Heather stood and put the kettle on. “I’ll make us some tea.”
As she busied herself with the mugs, I took a deep breath and gathered my courage. “I wanted to… thank you. Both of you. For everything you’ve done to help me get away from George.”
Sam put his hand over mine. “You don’t have to thank us. We’re family. We’ll always be here for you.”
Heather set a steaming mug of tea in front of me, the scent of chamomile wafting up. She sat back down, her green eyes bright with emotion. “I’m just so glad you’re safe now. I was so worried about you, all those years with him...”
I squeezed her hand, blinking back the sudden sting of tears. “I know. And I’m sorry for not reaching out sooner. I just... I couldn’t see a way out. But I do now. And I’m not going to let him control me anymore. I’m ready to start living my life again, on my own terms.”
Heather’s lips curved into a smile, but her gaze remained serious. “Does that mean you’re ready to start taking Noah seriously now?”
I hesitated, wrapping my hands around the warm mug. “It’s not that I didn’t take him seriously before. It... I didn’t believe I was entitled to happiness. But you’re jumping six steps forward, Heather, when I’ve taken two back. I need to work on the affirmations, on believing in my right to a future.”
Heather stood abruptly, rounding the table to engulf me in a tight hug. I clung to her, the tears I’d been holding back spilling over. Sam’s chair scraped against the floor as he stood, his strong arms encircling both of us.
“I’m so proud of you, Zoey,” he said. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
The pounding of feet on the stairs pulled us apart. Ro burst into the kitchen, his face pale, his breathing rapid. His body went rigid with fear when he saw my tear-stained face.
“Is... is Dad back?” he whispered, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.
I wiped my cheeks, shaking my head vehemently. “No, honey, not at all. I promise he’s not here. These are happy tears.” Sort of. I was ready to move forward, and that did make me happy.
Ro’s shoulders slumped with relief, but the lingering fear in his eyes tugged at my heart. I opened my arms, and Ro flew into them, his small body shaking against mine. I held him close and stroked his hair.
“I’m sorry, Ro,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I haven’t been stronger for you. But I promise, that’s going to change. We’re going to get through this together, okay? We’re going to build a new life, a better life. And your father... he’s not going to be a part of it. Not anymore.”
Ro pulled back, his green eyes searching my face. They mirrored George’s deep green hue, but where George’s glittered with coldness and malice, Ro’s exuded warmth and an abundance of love. “You promise? You pinkie-promise?”
Smiling through my tears, I cupped his cheek. “I pinkie-promise. From now on, it’s you and me, kid. We’re going to be okay.”
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