Page 84 of Healed in the Alpha's Embrace
“Then what is it? Is it because I’m human and not a shifter?” I pressed. “Is the pack giving you a hard time?”
“No, Zoey, you’re way off. Honestly, my parents and the pack have no issue with you,” Noah said. But his tone immediately set off alarm bells in my head.
“Okay.” I bit my lip, trying to steady my breathing and ignore the wretched anxiety. “Then, what’s going on? You know I can’t do the guessing game, Noah. Not after?—”
He cut me off with a sigh, running his hands through his sandy hair. His brow furrowed, causing the scar above his left eyebrow to become more pronounced. “I promise, Zoey, my parents love you. You are not the issue.”
“Then what is it?” I asked, needing to anchor myself to something concrete, to some sliver of truth that would prevent the walls from closing in on me like they used to.
“Are you aware of what it means for me to become alpha?” His probing gaze searched me for an understanding I wasn’t certain I could give him.
“Heather mentioned something about it,” I confirmed. “She compared it to a monarchy. That the title of alpha is passed from father to the eldest child. When your dad steps down, you’ll be the next in line.”
“Next in line...” he echoed, drifting into silence before looking at me with a resigned expression. “Nate was next in line. My brother… my twin.” He choked on the last word, and I could tell he was fighting to keep it together. “He was older than me by eight whole minutes. While he was raised to be the next alpha, I relished the freedom to pursue my own desires. We’d discussed it. Hell, a few times, I even asked him if he really wanted to be alpha. He’d laugh and tell me to stop overthinking things. Nate had a sincere passion—he loved the pack and everything to do with being alpha. I wholeheartedly believe he was looking forward to it. Two years ago...” Noah cleared his throat. “Two years ago, he was in a car accident. Drunk driver. He was too badly injured to shift safely. Even if he’d made it to the hospital, they couldn’t have done anything for him. He died at the scene.”
Noah scrubbed at his face. A single tear escaped his eye before he quickly wiped it away.
“It should be Nate. But it’s not. It’s me. So I’m here taking on responsibilities that were never meant to be mine.”
My throat tightened. Heather and Sam had mentioned Nate’s passing with a glossed-over sadness that didn’t even begin to capture the gravity now etched into Noah’s features. The loss of a sibling, a twin. I glanced at Ro, his laughter echoing from the other room. My heart constricted at the mere thought.
“Ro is everything to me,” I said softly. “I can’t... I can’t even imagine what you went through. What they—” I gestured vaguely, indicating his parents without needing to say their names.
Noah watched me, an unreadable expression on his face. “It wasn’t just losing Nate—and that was hard,” he said. “It’s everything that came after. This role. The responsibilities and expectations.”
I took his hand. The calluses on his palms from his years in the ring were rough against my skin. “You never wanted this,” I said in realization. “You never wanted to be alpha.”
His eyes met mine, surprise flickering across them. “Most people just assume I should be grateful for the honor.”
“Is that what your father thinks?” I asked.
He clenched his jaw. “My father is old-school. It’s always about duty with him, about the pack,” Noah said, a slight edge to his words. “He’s served his time. Done his duty. And he didn’t expect... he never thought Nate would...” He trailed off, his voice thick with emotion.
“You can’t blame your father for not foreseeing it,” I said gently. “None of us can predict how life will twist and turn. He’s done his time. He’s ready to step down.”
Noah’s brows knitted together. “You’re taking his side?”
“No,” I assured him quickly. “I’m on your side. But I understand why he’s pushing you. He trusts you, Noah. Maybe more than anyone else. If he didn’t, do you think he’d be willing to just hand it over?”
He pulled his hand away. “Trust isn’t the same as understanding,” he said, almost to himself. “Why can’t he find someone who wants the fucking title?”
“Because…” I hesitated, unsure how to articulate the swirl of thoughts. “You’re their best chance at a good leader.”
“Maybe.” Noah stared past me, as if he could see into the future he didn’t want. “But what about what I want? The gym, the fighters I could train... my dreams don’t align with this path.”
“Can’t you do both?” I asked.
He shook his head slowly. “An alpha doesn’t have that luxury.”
“Your father trusts you. He wouldn’t put this on you if he didn’t believe in you.”
Noah straightened up, his gaze avoiding mine. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m going to do my duty as alpha.” He ran a hand through his sandy blond hair, the scar on his brow pulling tight with the motion. “It’s just... funny. No one’s asked how I’m dealing with all of this pressure.”
“Hey,” I said softly, reaching out to touch his arm.
He turned, offering a hint of a smile. It wasn’t back to normal, but there was warmth there. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine, a brief kiss that spoke of promises and unspoken burdens. “I’m gonna go for a run. Clear my head.”
“Okay,” I said as he pulled away.
