Page 52 of The Mysterious Miss Lydia
She nodded toward the book Miss Farthington had abandoned. “For as long as I can remember I’ve been reading about other people’s adventures. Fictional, mostly. But if I wasn’t reading about other people’s lives, then I’ve been watching people live their lives from wherever it is I’m hiding...”
Miss Farthington waited patiently for her to continue. To put into words all the ways she’d been coming to life since her very first encounter with Lord Galena.
“All these years, I’ve been playing it safe because I was taught to be scared for my life, but...” She paused to breathe deeply as she remembered his words. Under her breath she repeated them. “But what is life without risks?”
“Pardon?” Miss Farthington said.
“I’ve never taken risks. I’ve watched and I’ve read about adventure, but I’ve never had an adventure. I’ve never experienced life.”
Miss Farthington’s smile of understanding was all the more sweet for the tears that welled in her eyes. “Well done, Lydia. It seems you’re starting to figure out who you are.”’
Lydia’s smile felt tremulous but before she could respond, the housekeeper entered. “Lord Galena is here to see Miss Lydia, if she is receiving visitors.”
Lydia’s grin felt like it might split her face in two, and Miss Farthington leapt up with a laugh. “Of course! Send him in.”
A little while later Miss Farthington was pouring tea for Lord Galena, who somehow managed to look even more dashing and handsome while joining them for tea.
Which was no doubt why her affliction was back, Lydia thought with a pang of despair.
For yes, it was true. Despite the fact that Miss Farthington kept trying to draw her into conversation, and Lord Galena was giving her encouraging looks, she found herself painfully, awkwardly, horrifically mute.
Again.
It was his eyes, she decided, not without a hint of panic. It was the way he looked at her. It was the pressure building in this room every time she fell silent in the face of their questions.
Meanwhile, all she wanted to do was ask him if he’d brought it.
All she wanted to do was hide in the dark and let his warm, lovely voice wash over her.
Instead, she sat here trembling until Miss Farthington made some excuse to leave them, assuring her that the door would be open and she would be just outside if they needed her.
She called for Kitty to sit in the far corner as well.
It was all quite proper...except that no one could hear them when they spoke quietly. A fact which Lord Galena, at least, took advantage of. “Miss Lydia, if you’ve had a change of heart and no longer wish to see the missive—”
“Oh, but I do!”
They both blinked in surprise at that, and then he smiled as if he understood completely. “May I ask...have you always been reticent to speak?”
She nodded.
“But you had no trouble talking to me the other night,” he clarified.
She just stared back at him. It wasn’t exactly a question and she wasn’t sure how to explain that their interaction in the library had been different. She’d been hidden in the dark, and there was not this terrifying weight of expectation.
But then, before she could say anything at all, he stood and moved briskly toward the windows, ignoring Kitty’s wide-eyed stare as he strode past her and pulled the curtains shut. Then moved over to where Lydia sat, picked up the candle Miss Farthington had been using to read by, and blew it out.
“W-what...” She shared a quick look of alarm with Kitty in the now darkened room, but Lord Galena sank back in his seat with a self-satisfied smile. “There, that’s better.”
Lydia blinked because...it was better.
She could still see him, but the shadows made her feel hidden. And when she realized that he understood...
Her throat clogged with unshed tears, but she still managed, “Thank you.”
“Oh no, this was an entirely selfish endeavor,” he said quickly. “I find I adore your voice and I’d hate to miss out on whatever thoughts you might wish to share.”
“I...” She choked on a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “May I see the passage?”
