Page 1 of The Rake I Wished For
PROLOGUE
At six years old,Miss Jocelyn Barrow was well accustomed to the sound of her mother weeping.
So this particular afternoon, it wasn’t the sound that startled her, but the fact that her mother caught her spying in the doorway.
“Jocelyn?” her mother called from where she sat before her vanity. “Come on in here, poppet.”
Hesitantly, Jocelyn did as she was told, crossing the plush carpet that seemed to capture her mother’s sobs, making them seem ghostly and distant when Jocelyn heard them in the hallway.
“Why are you crying, Mother?” Jocelyn asked as her mother hitched her up into her lap.
Her mother swiped away a lingering tear and tried to smile, but the smile looked so sad it made Jocelyn want to weep as well.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about, my dear,” her mother said.
But Jocelyn did worry. Even more so because she seemed to be the only one who noticed how unhappy her mother was. Her older brother Liam was off at school most of the time, and when he was home, their mother seemed happier. Or she cried less, at least.
And her father…
Well, he was rarely home. If he knew that her mother was sad, he didn’t seem to care.
Jocelyn rested her head against her mother’s chest, taking comfort in the steady thump of her heartbeat as her mother stroked her thick brown hair.
“My darling little girl,” her mother murmured. “What a beauty you will be.”
Jocelyn smiled. It was the highest praise coming from her mother, and she drank in the words, letting all the affection she heard in her mother’s voice wrap around her and wash away her worry.
“You’ll be just like me, my darling.” Her mother’s fingers sliding through her locks made her sleepy, and Jocelyn shut her eyes. “You’ll be a diamond of the first water, and you’ll have your pick of a husband.”
“Yes, Mother,” she said dutifully. Though truly, much as her mother spoke of Jocelyn’s prospects and her eventual marriage, that future felt so far away it might as well be a fairy tale.
“Your father will choose wisely, no doubt,” her mother said. “He understands the value of a good bloodline, and you’ll be well taken care of, have no doubt about that.”
“Yes, Mother.”
“And oh, my dear, I hope you’re happy…” Her mother’s voice grew high and wobbly.
Jocelyn tensed in her arms. Her mother had just stopped crying, and she didn’t want to hear it again. So she sat up to face her mother with a brilliant smile. “I will be happy, Mother. I promise.”
Her mother’s answering smile was tremulous.
Jocelyn smiled brighter. “I will make a good match, just like you said.”
Her mother nodded, pressing her lips together as tears welled in her eyes. “You will. Of course you will. I just hope…”
When she trailed off with quivering lips, Jocelyn feared another bout of tears. “What is it?”
Her mother shook her head, and Jocelyn summoned all her nerve.
“You made a good match, Mother.” She’d heard time and again how her mother had raised herself up from a lowly merchant’s daughter to a true lady when she married Jocelyn’s father, who was the younger brother of an earl.
Even at six, Jocelyn knew her mother wanted the same for her. To marry well. To gain an even higher status in society, with all the wealth and power that came with it.
“I did make a good match,” her mother agreed. But her gaze was frighteningly distant.
Jocelyn shifted, trying to regain her attention. “Then why aren’t you happy?”
Her mother’s eyes widened slightly, and she focused her sad eyes on Jocelyn. “Because I made a mistake, my dear. One I hope you won’t repeat.”
