Page 30 of The Rake I Wished For
Harlow forced himself to lift his head and he gave her the best smile he could muster. “You’d best get some sleep, Jo. We have a big day ahead tomorrow.”
She tried to smile too, and his heart ached at the way it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yes,” she said softly. “Goodnight, Harlow.”
“Goodnight, Jocelyn.”
He watched her go, and then he slumped down into his seat. For a long while he sat and stared at the chess pieces they’d left abandoned on the board in front of him. After a while, he actually began to study the board…
Deciphering the board was easier than making sense of his own churning thoughts and emotions.
And what he found had his lips twitching up in a smile. With a huff of rueful amusement, he let his head drop into his hands.
Jocelyn would have won this round. Again.
She’d gotten the best of him.
“I never stood a chance,” he muttered to the room at large.
All he got in response was another loud snore from Mrs. Clemens, who was, Harlow decided, the world’s worst chaperone.
* * *
The nextmorning,Jocelyn had the audacity to look well-rested and more gorgeous than ever.
Harlow, meanwhile, felt as fresh as a crushed weed, and no doubt looked even worse. He’d gotten no sleep at all the night before, and had spent the better part of the evening debating which of his sins was the most evil. Being a bad friend to Liam by kissing his sister while he was supposed to be protecting her? Or perhaps for desiring a woman he could never have?
But no, he suspected his biggest failing was the one that had punched him in the gut last night. The worst sin of all…
He’d gone and fallen in love with Jocelyn.
His best friend’s little sister.
The woman he could never have. Everyone knew she deserved better. She’d always been meant for a title and a fortune…not to mention a true gentleman.
One who didn’t have a lifetime of bad behavior to overcome.
One who wasn’t working with his hands every chance he got just to earn enough to keep his family home from crumbling.
“Good morning, Harlow,” Jocelyn said with the sweet smile of an innocent who hadn’t spent the night being tortured by guilt.
He managed a grunt in response. He couldn’t even muster up anything more gracious for Mrs. Clemens because some part of him resented her.
If she hadn’t fallen asleep, he never would have kissed Jocelyn.
And if he hadn’t kissed her, maybe he never would have realized just how badly he was in love with her.
But no. All it would have taken was for Jocelyn to start her hunt for a husband and he wouldn’t have been able to avoid the truth a moment longer.
That jealousy that made his gut churn and his heart ache would have been apparent. The kiss had just made him realize it that much sooner.
That kiss had only opened his eyes to what he’d be missing out on for the rest of his life.
“Are you sure you’re well?” Jocelyn asked as the innkeeper bid them farewell.
He looked down at Jocelyn, whose gaze was all seeing. His friend who knew him so well…
He couldn’t bring himself to outright lie. Was he well?
No. Not in the least. So instead, he evaded the question.
