Page 15 of The Rake I Wished For
But after her consideration, she met his gaze evenly and said, “It would not be ideal, I admit. But it would not be the end of the world.”
His lips parted as he gaped at her, but words refused to come.
She smiled, and he knew in a heartbeat that rendering him speechless had been her aim.
“You’re meant for better than that,” he said. “Your parents and your brother raised you for better.”
The combative light in her eyes dimmed momentarily, and he clenched his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her.
Gad! What was happening to him? He shouldn’t be speaking to her alone in this private corner like this, let alone thinking of tugging her into his arms.
“I know precisely what I’m meant for.” Her tone sounded flat and grim. “I’ve always known what my future has in store.” Her gaze lifted to meet his, and…there she was.
The girl he knew better than just about anyone in the world. The woman who saw straight through him.
The young lady who’d become one of his dearest friends without either of them meaning for it to happen.
“Then what were you thinking?” he asked, his voice softer now.
Her lips trembled and he couldn’t look away from them, even though reason was scolding him for even noticing.
“I promised I’d…” She let out a loud sigh. “You’ll only think me sillier than you already do.”
“I doubt that’s possible,” he muttered.
She glanced away, her throat working as she swallowed. “It doesn’t matter.”
He groaned aloud as frustration ate at him. “What doesn’t?” He gave into temptation and reached out, clasping her chin in his hand so she couldn’t look away. “Explain.”
She blinked in surprise.
He supposed his voice had come out rather…gruff. She wet her lips and tugged her chin free.
He let her go, but when she moved further into the shadows, he followed.
“I just want a kiss, that’s all,” she said, so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. “I know I won’t feel…that way about the man I marry and—”
“Why not?”
She glanced over in surprise. “Because I won’t.”
The way she said it—so certain and so determined—it filled him with a million questions, but she hurried on, her chin coming up and her eyes flaring with a familiar light.
“Not that you deserve an explanation, but I want to kiss a man before I marry, and as I plan to find a husband this season, my time is running out.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sorted through the hundreds of questions. “This is important to you,” he said, stating the obvious.
She shifted from foot to foot.
He glanced up in surprise to see her uncharacteristically self-conscious. “I told you, you wouldn’t understand.”
His heart gave another painful squeeze. Blast. It was difficult enough to keep up with Jocelyn when they were bickering and playing games. But add in this new vulnerable side of her, and he felt like the world had been flipped on its head.
“Why him?” He jerked his head toward the door. “Why the captain?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Because he’s a reckless cad, as you said.” Her smile was tremulous, inviting him into the joke. “Who better?”
“Jocelyn, don’t you see…do you have any idea what sort of liberties…” He trailed off at the sight of her wide eyes blinking up at him, and his heart responded with a frantic thudding that alarmed him.
