Page 38 of The Rake I Wished For
They’d stopped the carriage at an outcropping overlooking the decrepit estate, and Jocelyn’s expression was impossible to read as she took it in in all its lack of glory.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Jocelyn wasn’tcertain what reaction Harlow expected from her, but as she stood there staring out at the view ahead, she was keenly aware of the way he watched her.
She could feel his gaze upon her, steady and searching.
For what? She didn’t know. And frankly, she wasn’t sure she cared. What mattered was that she was here. With Harlow. And they were…
She glanced back at the carriage where dear Mrs. Clemens was knitting away furiously, seemingly content to stay in there forever along with the yawning driver.
Well, notaloneprecisely. But more alone than they’d been since they’d arrived at the manor.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said, turning to face Harlow.
He blinked, as if surprised that she’d rather speak to him than continue to stare out at what appeared to be an old home in ill-repair and some withered fields.
“Don’t try to deny it,” she added.
“I wouldn’t dare.” His lips twitched at the corners and she found herself leaning toward him, aching to see his familiar smile, to see his eyes sparkle with laughter and that affection that had always made her feel so warm in his presence.
She drew in a deep breath. “What did you mean when you said that you couldn’t bear to see me marry another?”
Her heart thumped painfully and her belly twisted with nerves as the silence stretched. “I…” He thrust a hand through his hair. “Gads, Jo, you really know how to put a man on the spot, don’t you?”
Now her lips twitched too, because for the first time in what felt like forever, he’d spoken to her like she was used to. Like they were friends. And maybe something even more intimate…
“Only with men I care about,” she said. “I wouldn’t dream of saying something like that to, oh, say…the Marquess of Northbridge.”
She’d been watching closely so she saw the way every muscle in his body seemed to tense at the mention of the other man. She also saw the way he tried to hide it, but there was no denying the possessive fire that burned in his eyes.
A smile curved her lips. “You’re jealous.”
He turned to her with an exasperated huff. “Of course I’m jealous. The thought of you with another man….” He cursed under his breath and glanced up to the heavens. “Jo, I meant what I said and I’m certain you know why.”
His eyes were pained, but she was hurting too. She ached all over with worry, and hope, and longing, and…terror.
“Say it,” she said.
She’d meant to sound strong and commanding, but it came out wobbly and weak.
His gaze collided with hers and held her captive. “I love you, Jo. I love you with all of my heart and soul.”
He made no move toward her, but his words wrapped around her and held her tight. For a moment she’d forgotten to breathe. She’d hoped he’d admit that he was attracted to her. That perhaps he had some feelings for her. But this…
This was more than she’d dared to dream.
“You…you love me?” Oh she was the veriest ninny. But she was blinking back tears and she couldn’t stop the surge of fear. The memories that threatened.
“Promise me you’ll never fall in love…”
“I promise, Mama.”
She shook off the memories and focused instead on the heat in his eyes, on the way he looked at her and saw her—every last bit of her. The good and the bad.
And he loved her.
Harlowlovedher.
