Page 103 of How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Ex
She reaches for my hand and I take it.
When I finally give in to the urge to look in the mirror, my heart gives up the battle and shatters in my chest.
I swallow a sob before it can escape. But now I know thatthiswas what I’d been so scared of.
I’d been terrified of losing Zack.
TWENTY-FIVE
AFTERMATH, TAKE TWO
Zack
The drive home is a blur.I’m vaguely aware of Bailey and Toni’s hushed voices in the backseat, but I can’t make out what they’re saying and I don’t try.
I’m too busy trying to get a freakin’ grip.
My hands are clammy on the steering wheel, and adrenaline makes my muscles twitch. I stare at the road in front of me and the green streetlights that mark the way home.
But all I can see is Grayson kissing Bailey.
All I can hear are his words in my head. Mocking. Taunting.Enjoy her while you can, Zack, because you won’t have her for long.
Bailey’s voice comes from the back. She’s talking to Toni quietly, reassuring her, it sounds like. But the sound of her voice makes my nerve endings feel raw.
I’m overreacting. IknowI’m overreacting. She walked away from Grayson. She’s going home with me.
I should talk to her. I shouldlookat her, at the very least. But even as I think it, I keep my eyes trained on the roadbecause...what will I see if I meet her eyes in the rearview mirror?
I don’t know what I’ll do if I see guilt.
Or something even worse, like regret.
So, no. I can’t bring myself to meet her gaze, even though I can feel her eyes on me. And I can’t get a handle on this anger because...
Was Grayson right?
Is it just a matter of time before Bailey comes to her senses? She’s too smart to go back to Grayson, but that’s not the point, is it? The point is that she’ll never want a guy like me. Not for the long term. Not for anything real.
Sure, we’ve been having fun. But that’s all it was—fun. A diversion. I was the escape from her normal life and the rebound for her broken heart.
Seeing Grayson kiss her tonight, knowing that this deal of ours is over—it was all so clear. Like somebody had flipped on the glaringly bright overhead lights, and in that moment I saw us for who we are. Bailey’s the straight-A overachiever who’s headed to college and a brilliant future, and I’m...me. The slacker who likely won’t ever escape this town and who she’s never taken seriously a day in her life.
I’m not the guy who gets the girl.
At least, notthisgirl.
I get that now. I understand what Grayson meant that day in the parking lot. Because even if he can’t have her—that doesn’t mean that I will either.
Toni moans from the backseat when I hit a pothole and I hear Bailey murmuring to her in this gentle tone.Saint Bailey to the rescue.
The snarky voice comes back like he’s never left, but I know it for what it is now. That me, the one who’d mocked and taunted and did everything in my power to get under her skin—he wasjust a jealous asshole. He was a bitter, jaded jerk who wanted what he couldn’t have.
I wish I could go back to hating Bailey, but I can’t even be pissed at her. That’s the really shitty part. I want to be mad at Bailey. I want her to be the asshole here. But she’s not. She hasn’t done anything wrong. I saw Grayson lean in and I watched long enough to see her pull away. So, no. I can’t be pissed.
I knowshe’spissed atmethough. And she should be. I was a dick back there, not even giving her a chance to explain. Not answering when all she wanted to know was where we stand.
I turn the radio up louder to drown out her voice in the back. I was a dick, but what else could I do?
