Page 109 of How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Ex
I turn to her in exasperation. “No,youhappened.” Is it nice to play the blame game with the sick girl who’s been puking for the last ten minutes?
Probably not. But I’m not in the mood to talk about Zack and I’ll do just about anything to get Janie to stop staring at me like this.
Like she’s about to psychoanalyze me until I beg for mercy.
My evil plan works because Janie looks from me to Toni. “Okay, I give up. What’s going on?”
Toni’s leaning over to spit in the sink, so I give Janie the Cliffs Notes version. “Toni spilled the beans about me and Zack.”
Janie’s eyes widen. “That you’re faking it?”
I nod, but look away. I don’t want to think about the fact that we were faking it. Or that it’s over now.
Or that Zack shut me out the first chance he got.
I definitely can’t think about the fact that my heart feels like it’s breaking.
“Grayson tried to win me back,” I say.
When Janie growls in anger on my behalf, I shrug. I can’t summon up anger anymore, but my nose crinkles up in disgust at the memory of his lips on mine. “I told him to get lost, and...”And Zack broke my heart.“And that was that.”
“Please tell me you didn’t actually use the phrase ‘get lost,’” Janie starts to tease.
But I’m definitely not in the mood for teasing, so I push my way past Janie because the bathroom is small enough to begin with. With three of us in there, the walls feel like they’re closing in.
I take a deep breath as I head for the living room.
Janie follows hot on my heels, Toni right behind her.
“Oh no,” Janie says. “Nope. Not gonna happen.”
“What’s not gonna happen?” I hit the den, which is—as expected—a complete and total disaster. The boys left games and toys lying everywhere because Janie sucks at making them clean up. She falls for their ‘but we’re so tired’ routine every time.
I have my hands full of action figures when I straighten to find Janie and Toni blocking the doorway with matching expressions of stubborn mutiny.
I widen my eyes. “Um…what’s happening here?”
“You’re not doing this again,” Janie says.
Toni arches her brows and purses her lips, all self-righteous agreement.
Janie takes a step toward me and starts ticking off points on her fingers. “You’re not going back to pretending that everything is perfect. You’re not going to shove your feelings under the covers in the name ofmaturity.” She uses air quotes just in case her sarcastic tone wasn’t obvious enough. “You’re not going to turn back into Saint Bailey and pretend you’re above it all when we all know you’re falling apart right now.”
I stare at her in surprise because...is it that obvious?
Probably.
Toni winces in sympathy at whatever she sees on my face.
Okay, definitely.
I shake my head as my chest tightens and my lungs expand. I don’t want to think about Zack. I don’t want to talk about the fact that it’s over. I don’t want to think about how hollow I feel, like I’ve been gutted and left standing. Because the second I do...
“I don’twantto fall apart.” And yes, it comes out sounding absurdly childish. I might as well have stomped my foot when I’d said it.
The look Janie gives me is pitying. “No one does, Bailey. But you can’t keep burying your feelings. It ends up coming out one way or another. You know this.”
I look away and the only sound in the room is a plastic Iron Man toy hitting the carpet. I glance down to see I’m still holding a bunch of action figures. I let them go and they hit the ground at once, scattering at my feet.
