Page 47 of How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Ex
Or maybe hewon’tdrop it.
I turn to him with a blank stare. “What’s up with what?”
Jessica and her friend go back to talking amongst themselves. They’re talking about a party I missed the other night that was thrown by my friends. Friends I’ve barely spoken to this week.
Are they still my friends? I don’t know.
I hate that I don’t know.
Will they still be my friends by the time Zack and I are done getting even?
Definitely not.
I reach for my club soda to help wash down the arugula that feels dry as sand in my throat.
“You okay?” Toni asks.
I nod as I gulp down the last of my soda. She’s watching me and I’ve never felt more like a fraud. Toni and I might not be close anymore, but she still knows me better than most. She has to know I’m acting. And, let’s face it, I’m probably doing a crappy job of it.
Grayson doesn’t seem to notice that I’m choking. He’s looking at something on his phone. “We still on for tonight?”
“Tonight?” At least choking on my salad is a valid excuse for why my voice comes out all croaky and weird.
Grayson drops the phone to give me a look of such exasperation I find myself flinching. I just barely hold back the instinctive apology, even though I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for.
“Did you forget?” His voice is loud enough that Jessica and Krista start to pay attention. We’re interesting again now that I’m being scolded. Grayson widens his eyes, all offended as he prompts my memory. “Devon’s party? Tonight?”
I blink at him as my heart races in panic. “I can’t.”
What I mean is,I can’t spend any more time with you. I can’t keep pretending like this. And I definitely can’t convince an entire party full of people that I’m still madly in love with the lying turd who cheated on me. But all I actually say is,I can’t.
His brows draw together in confusion. “Why not?”
I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I’ve been doing such a great job of finding excuses to avoid being alone with Grayson lately, but this one catches me by surprise and my brain goes blank.
Grayson’s expression is all annoyance. “We talked about it last week. You said you were going.”
I can’t stop staring now because...seriously? Does he have any idea how whiny he sounds? Like a kid about to throw a temper tantrum.
“I don’t remember that.” It’s the truth. I don’t remember—but I’m sure he’s right. I probably did agree to whatever plans he’d thrown at me a week ago, because that was what I did. I said whatever Grayson wanted to keep him happy. I did whatever he asked.
Except for sex, of course. That was one area where I hadn’t caved. It’s not like I’m super religious or anything, but I’ve always thought the first time should be special. I’d wanted to wait until it felt right and there were absolutely no doubts.
Most of all, I’d wanted to wait until we had the perfect time and place for such a monumental first. I didn’t want my first time to be in some stranger’s bedroom while a party raged around us. Or worse, in the backseat of his SUV.
And now my brain is fixated on sex. I can’t stop staring at Grayson as I wonder—did he sleep with Rina? I swallow a wave of nausea as I push the salad away, dropping my gaze to the table so he won’t see the horror there.
I’ve wondered before, of course, but right now it seems so obvious. And after that awkward moment that Zack threw usinto, I wonder if it was inevitable. Maybe I’d been insane to think a guy like Grayson would wait.
I shake off the thought because Grayson’s still talking. No, he’s giving me a lecture on how I haven’t spent enough time with him lately, and how I have to go to this party.
But I can’t. I just...can’t.
I glance up and see Toni watching me closely. I turn to face Grayson. “I wish I could go,” I lie. “But I already made plans.”
“What plans?” He’s so confused, it’s almost funny. Like the idea of me making plans without him is just so mind-boggling.
But it’s not funny because my brain is scrambling to come up with some sort of fictional family outing or?—
