Page 60 of How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Ex
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’s that...” I wet my lips as we turn onto the familiar streets of our neighborhood. “Janie has this theory…”
“I can’t wait to hear this,” he murmurs, already smiling.
“She’s big into psychology, and she believes that our identities were pretty much forged when the twins were born.”
“Okay,” he says slowly.
I’m not even sure where I’m going with this. I feel like I’m pulling at a string that leads to the knotted mess that is my brain right now, and I have to see where it ends. “When the twins were born, they were the center of attention, right? So, Janie and I had to figure out how to exist in this new family dynamic.”
I glance over, waiting to see a smirk, but his expression is serious and he seems to be listening intently.
“That makes sense,” he says.
“So, I got attention by being...good.” This sounds way better when Janie explains it using all the big words and her annoyingly condescending teacher voice. “I got good grades, and I won every award, and I helped out around the house, and I made my parents’ lives easier. Or I tried to, at least. Because Janie?—”
“Went the opposite route,” Zack finishes with a little huff of amusement.
I laugh too. “Exactly. She was always whining for attention or getting into trouble...”
I trail off because this isn’t about Janie. It’s about me.
It’s about me realizing that Janie was right all along. And so was Zack.
I sigh as I say it aloud, “I’m a people pleaser.”
He gasps, claps a hand over his heart, and pretends to be shocked. “No!”
A laugh slips out as I smack his arm. “Shut up. I’m being serious.”
“I know you are, and that’s why it’s so hilarious.” He’s outright grinning now, and he looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “I can’t believe you’re just now owning up to the fact that you’re a people pleaser.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Gloating doesn’t look good on you.”
“Everythinglooks good on me.”
I don’t deny it, because I’m pretty sure he’s right. He’s too dang hot for his own good.
“My point is,” I say loudly, getting us back on track. “I don’t want to be that person anymore?—”
“Hallelujah.”
“And today I wasn’t.”
“Definitely not,” he agrees.
He’s having way too much fun considering I’m having a major existential crisis over here.
“But that means...” My voice is getting too high and tight, and I rub my clammy palms on my skirt. “That means I don’t know who I am. I don’t even recognize myself and that’s...that’s...”
“Terrifying.” For once he’s not laughing or teasing. He’s totally serious, and that helps to alleviate a little of the anxiety.
“Yeah,” I say. “It’s terrifying.”
He parks in his driveway and shifts to face me. “Look at it this way. Finding out Grayson was cheating on you, and this whole revenge plan—this is just like when your brothers were born.”
I narrow my eyes. “You’re comparing my heartbreak to the birth of twins?”
He laughs. “Just hear me out. It’s a moment, right? It’s a significant event, something that reshapes how you see the world and your place in it.”
