Page 123 of Search My Soul
Riya was accompanying me to a few condos in order to see if we could find a new place. We went to see a few last week, but they didn’t speak to me. I wanted something that I could see myself in for a few years at least.
“Come on, Ri! It’s gonna take me thirty minutes to get to the place, so we’ve gotta leave now.” I yelled down the hall.
“I’m coming, lady!”
“Are those my slides you have on?” My eyes landed on a familiar pair of designer slides that I received for my birthday.
“Maybe.” Riya smirked.
“Girl, I just got those. What the hell?”
“You were taking too long to wear them. Who keeps shoes like these in a box to collect dust? I figured I would put them to use since you were neglecting them. I’m so happy we wear the same shoe size. If only I could fit your clothes, then I would be in heaven. At least I have access to all of your jewelry, perfumes, and purses.”
“Get a life, girl. You have a closet full of clothes, and some of them still have tags on them. I spend more money on your clothes than I do mine.” I fussed, knowing damn well I enjoyed spoiling my siblings. We’ve lived an impoverished life for far too long, and I loved being able to provide for them in a way we’ve never experienced before.
We headed out the door with a few minutes to spare. Our realtor would be meeting us at the property, and I wanted to make it there before her.
“How are you feeling about school?” I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she was a senior and would be headingto college in the fall. It seemed like just yesterday that she was begging me to take her to the zoo. Now, she had her license and was driving herself around. I planned to buy her a car, but for now, I was letting her use my girl Betty.
“I’m excited about it, to be honest. The last couple of years were rough, but I’m looking forward to a fresh start. My friends are all going to JU as well, so I’m excited to go on this journey with them. We have freshman orientation in a few weeks, and I’ll get the opportunity to walk through the campus and find my classes.”
“I’m proud of you. You’ve overcome something that could have destroyed you, but you’re blossoming. I want you to know that I’m here no matter what. If you need to talk or if you feel overwhelmed on campus, all you have to do is call me.” Riya developed PTSD along with anxiety after she was kidnapped, and I worried her being on campus around so many people would be a trigger for her. Watching her struggle through this only made me want to strangle my parents for what they allowed to happen.
“I think I’ll be okay. Dr. Ross has been a major help, and she has given me some breathing techniques and tools to use when I feel overwhelmed. My last panic attack was four months ago, and Dr. Ross says I’m making incredible progress. It will be an adjustment, but I’m gonna be brave like my big sister.” If only she knew how hard it was. Sometimes, it seemed like I was anything but brave.
“Well, I pray you don’t make as many mistakes as I did. Either way, I’m in your corner. I want you to focus on your education, but I also want you to have fun. I didn’t have the opportunity to attend college, but I did go to a few parties. Take advantage of the experience as much as you can.” I wanted her to enjoy being young for as long as she could before real life andresponsibilities took over. Life came with its own set of lessons, but I desired for her to live with no regrets.
We arrived at the property at the same time as my realtor, Miko. She greeted us as soon as we stepped out of the car. We headed inside the property so she could show us around. I wasn’t sold on the first property, but I began to warm up after the second and third ones. I loved the idea of Riya and West having rooms on the opposite side of the condo because I didn’t want them to hear me doing grown-up activities. They had been exposed to enough in life. Miko was explaining all the amenities that came with the property when my phone rang. Anxiously, I retrieved it from my pocket and excused myself from them.
“Hello.”
“Hey, what’s up?” Pure’s smooth, controlled voice sounded off through my speakerphone. There was a bit of an awkward silence, so I decided to cut right to the chase.
“I need to know where he is.” My request was met with a low chuckle on the other end. My face twisted into a frown because there was nothing funny about this situation.
“Am I missing the joke here?” I’m sure my frustration was detectable in my tone, but he had pissed me off.
“Naw, shorty. I’m not laughing at you. You just reminded me of something my brother told me. What do you want with his location?”
“Well, it’s obvious that you don’t care whether he’s okay or not, but I do. I need to lay eyes on him so I can see for myself that he’s okay.” Silence. Pure and I had very few interactions within the time Soul and I were together, but he was about to see a side of me he wasn’t gonna like.
“Don’t you have a nigga? Why are you so worried about my brother?”
“Are you gonna give me his location or not, because I didn’t ask for your smart ass comments. The fact that you haven’tbothered to go see him tells me everything I need to know. You’re a coldhearted asshole, and I pray no innocent woman has the misfortune of trying to get close to you. Now, you can either tell me what the fuck I want to know, or I’ll file a police report and post that he’s missing and that you aren’t doing anything to help. I don’t see how you can sleep at night when someone you’re supposed to love is suffering, but that’s a conversation you need to have with your therapist.” My chest heaved up and down as I paced the parking lot. I expected this conversation to go a completely different way, and I wanted to reach through the phone and smack him.
“Damn. I guess bro wasn’t lying. You’ve got some fire in you.” The sound of him chuckling sent me over the edge, and I had to take a few deep breaths before I called him everything but a child of God.
“Hold on. I’m about to add someone to the call.” He didn’t even wait for me to respond. I felt like I was on a prank show because there was no way he was being serious right now.
“What’s good, killa?” I recognized Duke’s voice right away, and it gave me some comfort.
“Shit, are you talking to me or her because lil mama over there ready to cut my damn head off.”
“I told you sis was nothing to play with. What’s up, juicy booty? My nigga ain’t around so I can call you that now.” I smiled involuntarily because I was still pissed.
“Can you please tell me where he is before he ends up grieving his big brother? I liked his ass better when he didn’t speak.”
“Damn. I don’t want to piss you off any more than he already has. I’ll send you the location as soon as I pull over. It’s a cabin that his family bought when they were young. He goes up there occasionally when he doesn’t want to be bothered by anyone. Now, I’m telling you, he isn’t going to be happy to see you, andhe might be in a condition you aren’t used to seeing him in,” Duke warned.
